didnt go to church this morning... just felt like staying in. i spent the whole morning just reading the word and listening to worship music and just relaxing... it was really good. church here is great.. but i can never REALLY understand... so yah.
then i packed up most of my stuff... gosh i got rid of SO much stuff!! all the school supplies are gone.. the soccer balls... and i gave almost all of my clothes to Agnes today.. oh my word she was sooo happy. it made me so happy :) its so easy to bless the people here... it takes so little to make a big difference. she is so sad that i am leaving.. and keeps saying she will never forget me. oh i love her :) its nice because she is 17. someone my age finally!!
maria gave me some earrings that she made today... so sweet!! going away presents. makes me sad... i am going to miss these people soo soo soo so much. they are family to me now.
then i went to meet nelson the soccer coach at the alpha palace hotel and we sat in this huge room with 100 black men and watched a live soccer match. they were crazy.. haha that was intresting.
then had dinner. yum! i am going to miss the african coffee/tea so much! there is noothing like it.
nelson is funny. he speaks good english but i can still barley understand what he is saying half of the time.
and i had to laugh because in the backround they were playing BARBIE GIRL and backstreet boys.
and nelson told me i look like brittney spears. ha that made me laugh so hard.
the other day i saw a "gangster'' walking down the streeet... with a brittney spears tee shirt on.
its like they are a decade behind. its so funny.
its going to be really hard to leave... i love it here. i cant wait to be home also tho. im not really doing anything important here now.. im just... being. so im ready for home... but ill miss these people.. and the smell.. and the coffee... and the goat brochettes... soooooo much.
hm. not much left to say.
tomorrow coffee farm i believe... good two hour drive through the country side!! YAY!
and then tuesday teddy and nelson come over in the morning to say goodbye :(
and then off to kicukiro to say goodbye to nickies family..
and then finish packing say goodbye to my little family here... and then off to america.
so weird.
good. but weird.
this trip couldnt have been more perfect :)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
crazy crazy crazy...
wow crazy week... started writing a blog yesterday but the power went off an i lost it
wednesday was my last day with my kids!! we just played all day... and i just poured my heart and soul into them... let them crawl all over me and got like hundreds of priceless pictures :)
then got a headache and got stuck at aunts house in the rain all day.. it rained 8 hours. oh my word.
thursday there was no school... just grading for the teachers and another teacher did mine for me. so i went to aunts house and got my hair plated. oh my word i was thinking like... 4-5 hours tops. 10 painful hours later its all done. at first i didnt like it :) now i love it. ha ha youll just have to wait and see.
then karen jesse and i went out for indian food! oh my word the place was sooo gorgeous.. decorated amazingly. and it was that weird scene again.. like the Italian restaurant.
in the middle of dinner the lights went off.. and these colored lights came on and the entire staff in their costumes came out banging stuff together and singing and dancing. it was for a birthday. sang in like 5 different langauges.. and danced.. for like 5 minutes. it was a treat.
friday... oh friday. i had to say goodbye to my kids :(
i think the saddest part of the day was unexpected tho.. when i was walking inbetween the school and the buss... i saw this woman... like 50ish... crawling on the ground.. next to the road. and she had flip flops on her hands and her knees must have been a mess and her feet were in the air all wrapped up. i just wanted to cry because it was so unexcpted. what can u really do for someone like that? ugggh..
then we had the big goodbye party! lots of parents .. and mingling .. and soo much playing with the kids. and lots of goodbyes :( saying goodbye to the kids was soo hard. i dont think they understood. but i MADE sure i said goodbye to lopez.. my absolute favorite. and kamikaze.
but it was so hard to get to them! because i just kept getting mobbed by kids.. no teachers were around so no one to help. ha i was attacked like never before! they basically just pulled me down. no wonder im so sore today.
when i said goodbye to all the other teachers i just fell apart. it took forever for me to get them to understand that i wont be seeing them again before i leave :( we became like a little family... they just embraced me. i miss my kids and friends soo much already! but i didnt say goodbye to teddy. she said she was going to come last night or this morning... but she didnt. she says she has something wonderful to tell me. haha no clue... when she is coming? its so weird... people are just never where they are suppose to be here.. or not never. but alot of the time. communication and getting something to come together right... takes alot of work.
i think thats alot of why im exhausted. putting anything together is just a fight... but there is also the whole sense that its out of your control so why fight it.. just sit back and enjoy the ride. the conflict of the two is exhausting.
cried the second i started walking away from the school... meh. its weird to think im done there. and ill prob never see my students again. because they are leaving that school this year and splitting up and going to secondary school hopefully. if their parents can afford it.
then i met karen at the house and we went and met chantal. now chantal runs the orphange that i was originally going to work with them i was coming here. she was really sweet.. she had a very powerful but loving presence. and she was playing some of my favorite worship music in the car.
i saw one of my favorite little girls walking when we were on the way to the orphange.
im so so so so so glad i didnt stay and work there. God knows me SO well! i could do that for like... 3 days and then i would go insane! its sooo nice. the place is huge.. so many buildings..and everything was just so nice. and the kids were soo cute and soo happy... but if i want what i would have gotten there.. i can just go to an orphanage in america... and i would have been stuck up in there. would not have met all of the amazing people i met... or gone to uganda.. and my whole trip would have been in this ONE place.
im so glad it didnt wokr out.
they are doing AMAZING things there... the kids are so smart. it is wonderful. but not what i was looking for at all.
chantal is the first african ive met who hates obama by the way... ha and with a passion. it was funny.
at dinner last night agnes and dina .. the house maids.. i guess u would call them. they bought us all 2 goat brochettes from up the street!! i was so happy. yum yum yum
it was fun.. i sat with them for like 2 hours and just talked and got to know them better. i really love the people i am living with. it feels like a family now. their stoires are so sad tho :(
now to today..
woke up SO tired. guessing from playing with the kids yesterday. just completely worn out. i think my body knew it was done with work today.. and it just decided to fall apart ha.
karen and i went to the alpha palace hotel and i treated her to a nice little goodbye breakfast. because she left today. toast! and butter.. oh yum. eggs... and fruit. oh it was wonderful.
came back and bummed around for hours.
maria finished my dress.. that was fun to try on. i love it :)
and then went to kicukkiro to pay aunt for my hair... and then went to the college of technology to meet nelson and his soccer players. oh that was soo fun! like 40 kids maybe. took alot of great pictures and just had fun.. and then it just started POURING rain. it was a funny scene again. white girl.. running through the fields with like 60 black boys in the pouring rain. ha ha.
we all huddeled in these stands for a while, ha ha ha ha. of course they acted like they had never seen a white girl before.. that whole thing. im used to it by now i guess. hm.
oh on the way to kicukiro our buss got pulled over. the police system here is random. they just pull anyone over.
on the way back we ran out of gas.
haha that was fun.
came back and said goodbye to karen and now im here :)
nelson insists i come to the alpha palace hotel where he works to work out. oh my word he will kill me!! oh gosh choices... ive gained all the weight i lost back... and do i want to exhaust myself?
who knows.
it will be weird having the house to myself tonight. weird but kinda.. nice i guess.
wednesday was my last day with my kids!! we just played all day... and i just poured my heart and soul into them... let them crawl all over me and got like hundreds of priceless pictures :)
then got a headache and got stuck at aunts house in the rain all day.. it rained 8 hours. oh my word.
thursday there was no school... just grading for the teachers and another teacher did mine for me. so i went to aunts house and got my hair plated. oh my word i was thinking like... 4-5 hours tops. 10 painful hours later its all done. at first i didnt like it :) now i love it. ha ha youll just have to wait and see.
then karen jesse and i went out for indian food! oh my word the place was sooo gorgeous.. decorated amazingly. and it was that weird scene again.. like the Italian restaurant.
in the middle of dinner the lights went off.. and these colored lights came on and the entire staff in their costumes came out banging stuff together and singing and dancing. it was for a birthday. sang in like 5 different langauges.. and danced.. for like 5 minutes. it was a treat.
friday... oh friday. i had to say goodbye to my kids :(
i think the saddest part of the day was unexpected tho.. when i was walking inbetween the school and the buss... i saw this woman... like 50ish... crawling on the ground.. next to the road. and she had flip flops on her hands and her knees must have been a mess and her feet were in the air all wrapped up. i just wanted to cry because it was so unexcpted. what can u really do for someone like that? ugggh..
then we had the big goodbye party! lots of parents .. and mingling .. and soo much playing with the kids. and lots of goodbyes :( saying goodbye to the kids was soo hard. i dont think they understood. but i MADE sure i said goodbye to lopez.. my absolute favorite. and kamikaze.
but it was so hard to get to them! because i just kept getting mobbed by kids.. no teachers were around so no one to help. ha i was attacked like never before! they basically just pulled me down. no wonder im so sore today.
when i said goodbye to all the other teachers i just fell apart. it took forever for me to get them to understand that i wont be seeing them again before i leave :( we became like a little family... they just embraced me. i miss my kids and friends soo much already! but i didnt say goodbye to teddy. she said she was going to come last night or this morning... but she didnt. she says she has something wonderful to tell me. haha no clue... when she is coming? its so weird... people are just never where they are suppose to be here.. or not never. but alot of the time. communication and getting something to come together right... takes alot of work.
i think thats alot of why im exhausted. putting anything together is just a fight... but there is also the whole sense that its out of your control so why fight it.. just sit back and enjoy the ride. the conflict of the two is exhausting.
cried the second i started walking away from the school... meh. its weird to think im done there. and ill prob never see my students again. because they are leaving that school this year and splitting up and going to secondary school hopefully. if their parents can afford it.
then i met karen at the house and we went and met chantal. now chantal runs the orphange that i was originally going to work with them i was coming here. she was really sweet.. she had a very powerful but loving presence. and she was playing some of my favorite worship music in the car.
i saw one of my favorite little girls walking when we were on the way to the orphange.
im so so so so so glad i didnt stay and work there. God knows me SO well! i could do that for like... 3 days and then i would go insane! its sooo nice. the place is huge.. so many buildings..and everything was just so nice. and the kids were soo cute and soo happy... but if i want what i would have gotten there.. i can just go to an orphanage in america... and i would have been stuck up in there. would not have met all of the amazing people i met... or gone to uganda.. and my whole trip would have been in this ONE place.
im so glad it didnt wokr out.
they are doing AMAZING things there... the kids are so smart. it is wonderful. but not what i was looking for at all.
chantal is the first african ive met who hates obama by the way... ha and with a passion. it was funny.
at dinner last night agnes and dina .. the house maids.. i guess u would call them. they bought us all 2 goat brochettes from up the street!! i was so happy. yum yum yum
it was fun.. i sat with them for like 2 hours and just talked and got to know them better. i really love the people i am living with. it feels like a family now. their stoires are so sad tho :(
now to today..
woke up SO tired. guessing from playing with the kids yesterday. just completely worn out. i think my body knew it was done with work today.. and it just decided to fall apart ha.
karen and i went to the alpha palace hotel and i treated her to a nice little goodbye breakfast. because she left today. toast! and butter.. oh yum. eggs... and fruit. oh it was wonderful.
came back and bummed around for hours.
maria finished my dress.. that was fun to try on. i love it :)
and then went to kicukkiro to pay aunt for my hair... and then went to the college of technology to meet nelson and his soccer players. oh that was soo fun! like 40 kids maybe. took alot of great pictures and just had fun.. and then it just started POURING rain. it was a funny scene again. white girl.. running through the fields with like 60 black boys in the pouring rain. ha ha.
we all huddeled in these stands for a while, ha ha ha ha. of course they acted like they had never seen a white girl before.. that whole thing. im used to it by now i guess. hm.
oh on the way to kicukiro our buss got pulled over. the police system here is random. they just pull anyone over.
on the way back we ran out of gas.
haha that was fun.
came back and said goodbye to karen and now im here :)
nelson insists i come to the alpha palace hotel where he works to work out. oh my word he will kill me!! oh gosh choices... ive gained all the weight i lost back... and do i want to exhaust myself?
who knows.
it will be weird having the house to myself tonight. weird but kinda.. nice i guess.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
loved
Nothing too exciting..
today i was so so so so so so tired. again...
i met with the guy from the soccer club last night and its perfect! its just like 1 mile or 2 mile walk from the preschool.. i will either go there tomorrow or friday. he was soo excited! ha and so am i :)
but today i was so tired. one of those days at the school where i feel incapable and unqualified.
but the bible says to boast in my weaknesses! so yah.. i have no idea what im doing! haha ...
i only have 2 more days of teaching these kids.. then goodbye party.
oh im going to miss them so much. i love them so much!!
erg my heart is going to break. blaaah. so not looking forward to that.
ill miss them running into my arms and just staring at me... and me tickeling them or laying them over my lap and shaking them like crazy... ill miss making weird faces at eachother and just being silly!! there is nothing like having 300 children as your best friends..
they have changed my life prob more than i have changed theres.
reminded me of simple and innocent faith.. and patience... and unconditional love...
meh. can i bring them home please!!!!
anyways. super tired. took a motor bike back to the house because it was faster ha.. oh well if its a dollar instead of 30 cents. its really fun and relaxing.. and its such a beautiful ride! i wish we had them everywhere in America... they are so fun! and i feel very safe and comfortable.
i walked like 3 miles to get chocolate. ha i wanted it so bad!!! i bought 12 chocolate bars. hopefully that will hold me for the next 8 days ;)
but i was just soo tired and just kinda.. on teh end of my rope. its so exhausting walking around here... because of the non stop staring... its just exhausting smiling at everyone adn getting glared at most of the time or getting looked up and down and just.. idk. it gets pretty old. i was really discouraged... and it was really hot. ha.
i spent the entire after noon just listening to worship music and reading the word...
it went by soo fast. and gave me alot of peace... calmed me down alot and i feel so restored.
it was like.. 3-4 hours of just me and God... it was great :)
the rest of the trip i will have plenty of times like that... and i want that in america.
then i decided to walk up to where i am now :)
and i brought some braclets and head bands incase i ran into any little girls on the road.
the second i left the house a little girl approached me! it was really fun to give her a braclet and see her smile! and then this random woman came up to me just embraced me and was talking in kinyarwanda.. but it was so weird. felt like i knew her forever. we stood there and just kinda laughed and hugged and laughed at the language barrier... but all of the sudden i felt connected to the people here.. instead of like such an outsider..
i did my best to smile and say hi to everyone i could on the way to the cafe and not get discouraged by the stares. ha.
i love peace :)
i just cant imagine saying goodbye to these kids
i feel so loved... there is nothing like the love of 300 kids on top of the the unconditional overwhelming and unexplainable love of a savior :)
today i was so so so so so so tired. again...
i met with the guy from the soccer club last night and its perfect! its just like 1 mile or 2 mile walk from the preschool.. i will either go there tomorrow or friday. he was soo excited! ha and so am i :)
but today i was so tired. one of those days at the school where i feel incapable and unqualified.
but the bible says to boast in my weaknesses! so yah.. i have no idea what im doing! haha ...
i only have 2 more days of teaching these kids.. then goodbye party.
oh im going to miss them so much. i love them so much!!
erg my heart is going to break. blaaah. so not looking forward to that.
ill miss them running into my arms and just staring at me... and me tickeling them or laying them over my lap and shaking them like crazy... ill miss making weird faces at eachother and just being silly!! there is nothing like having 300 children as your best friends..
they have changed my life prob more than i have changed theres.
reminded me of simple and innocent faith.. and patience... and unconditional love...
meh. can i bring them home please!!!!
anyways. super tired. took a motor bike back to the house because it was faster ha.. oh well if its a dollar instead of 30 cents. its really fun and relaxing.. and its such a beautiful ride! i wish we had them everywhere in America... they are so fun! and i feel very safe and comfortable.
i walked like 3 miles to get chocolate. ha i wanted it so bad!!! i bought 12 chocolate bars. hopefully that will hold me for the next 8 days ;)
but i was just soo tired and just kinda.. on teh end of my rope. its so exhausting walking around here... because of the non stop staring... its just exhausting smiling at everyone adn getting glared at most of the time or getting looked up and down and just.. idk. it gets pretty old. i was really discouraged... and it was really hot. ha.
i spent the entire after noon just listening to worship music and reading the word...
it went by soo fast. and gave me alot of peace... calmed me down alot and i feel so restored.
it was like.. 3-4 hours of just me and God... it was great :)
the rest of the trip i will have plenty of times like that... and i want that in america.
then i decided to walk up to where i am now :)
and i brought some braclets and head bands incase i ran into any little girls on the road.
the second i left the house a little girl approached me! it was really fun to give her a braclet and see her smile! and then this random woman came up to me just embraced me and was talking in kinyarwanda.. but it was so weird. felt like i knew her forever. we stood there and just kinda laughed and hugged and laughed at the language barrier... but all of the sudden i felt connected to the people here.. instead of like such an outsider..
i did my best to smile and say hi to everyone i could on the way to the cafe and not get discouraged by the stares. ha.
i love peace :)
i just cant imagine saying goodbye to these kids
i feel so loved... there is nothing like the love of 300 kids on top of the the unconditional overwhelming and unexplainable love of a savior :)
Monday, October 20, 2008
First Day Back
Last night when I got back karen and i went for goat brochettes!! i am going to miss those so so so much! there is nothing like them :)
felt weird being back... felt like i had been gone for forever.. but i had only been a week.
Jesse told me that it felt like i was gone for weeks and was glad i am back :) made me feel special that i was missed!
felt weird being back... good in a strange way tho.
woke up this morning regular old morning!! they finally made eggs again!! yum i love eggs.
today i took a motor bike taxi to school instead of the buss!! i took one last week with nickie really early one morning and it was really fun!
it was really fast... and not so much walking! which is fine... it sounds lazy but i finally gained all my weight back! ha. its funny how people here notice that... teddy told me i was fat today.. she said she meant it in a good way. they are funny with their words.
anyways it was sooo funny! and so sweet. the second i got off the bike i got attacked by kids like never before!! they were SOO happy to see me. i had about 20 kids hugging me at once! it was overwhelming. i couldnt walk because everywhere i went i had kids hanging on. oh my word it was adorable. made me feel that home feeling again :)
ALL the teachers were so excited to see me.. kisses and hugs all around! we are a little teacher family.. looking out for eachother and taking care of eachother.. i really love them so much! esp teddy.. oh my goodness she was sooo happy to see me! biggest hug ever.
i dont think even after being gone for a month.. that i will get a greeting even close to that when i return to america... and i was only gone for a week!
i feel so loved here... makes me feel like im having an impact... big or small... they wanted me back!!
today was kind of nice and relaxing... the kids played in the field and learned some french songs for like the first 2 hours.. and us teachers went to go look at the vicinity for the end of the year party on friday!
the kids attacked me ALL day! I got some priceless pictures!! they all just want soo badly to hold my hand or hug me or give me a high five... or sit on my lap. ha and it was a really hot day... so it was sooo fun but sooo exhausting!
then when i entered my classroom i felt at home again... feeling like i knew what i was doing. it felt good. walk in and they all stand up and say hello teacher... i ask them how they are and they say fine teacher and i tell them to sit down and they say.. i am sitting down. its the cutest thing ever!
reviewed colors... they all remembered every color right away... i was shocked!!
then i taught them shapes...
and then we did some subtraction.
they were SO well behaved. i was shocked. ha.
then teddy came and passed back their exams. app they took their french and math exams while i was gone. the math that i wasnt responsible for... and the french.. i hadnt taught them any of the stuff on the exams... they learned it before i was there.
i only saw one kids scores but he didnt do too well on the french or the math... but on the english he aced.
again made me feel like i can actually do something for these kids!! i can actually do this.
this whole trip has been extremely humbling and empowering at the same time.
ive have realized the power of one person... in my own weird way.. or just simply loving people with Christs love... its amazing to see the impact u can make. its the strangest and most satisfying feeling.
i felt whole there... completely happy! :)
but then i just got SOOO exhausted. i travel from 6:30am yesterday till 6:30 pm... and it hit me mid day today.
lucky school was over.
i was suppose to go over to nickies aunts house and pick up my phone charger... long story.
teddy and another teacher came with me... and nickies aunt and uncle saw how tired i was and they got me a coke and made me stay and drink it. ha. and then it started POURING rain... so i was stuck there for a couple hours. napped a little. refreshing. i needed it.
but nickie's cousin.. she is 2 1/2 and the cutest girl i have ever seen in my life! i love her sooo much and i found out today she is absolutley obsessed with me. ha its sooo cute. because she is so shy but she loves me so much. she isnt a student.. infact ive barley interacted with her much...
but the entire time i was gone she was asking "wheres becca" "when is becca coming?"
when she heard i was coming today she kept running outside and looking around and going "is becca here yet"
she wouldnt eat much when i was gone... unless her parents told her that when she was done she would be able to see me.
they said she asks for me everyday.. and all she wants is me there.
she is 2 1/2..
she told her parents she loved me today.
:)
she was eating... and something came up and all she could say was I LIKE BECCA
she wanted pictures of me... and gave me kisses on the cheek.
i love her so much.
not even my students remember my name... i am muzugu or teacher to them.... becuase there are so many of them i guess. idk. but she remembered...
again just kind of overwhelmed me... that somehow i had touched her... that for some reason this little girl loved me so much!
i think before i left i felt like i wasnt accomplishing much. i kind of thought all of my kids would forget what i taught them... or that they wouldnt remember me. this kinda proved all of that wrong.
everyone has embraced me soooo much here! i have family everywhere here...
i love it so much.
its funny because nickies aunt is so not happy that i am paying for food and housing. she says next time i go to kampala or kigali im staying with a part of her family... she says i shouldnt have to pay to sleep and eat. shes so sweet :)
i love love these people..
i can leave here now KNOWING that i affected people...
i think its pretty easy to change peoples lives here... just giving them a little love gives them hope. makes me kinda angry at bush. america has SO much power to change lives in a good way... to bring joy and peace to countries like rwanda. fresh water and food... electricity... paved roads. whatever. and we throw away millions and millions and so much freaking money in iraq.
obama better win. ha....
im glad ill be home for the elections. that will be itnresting to see and to catch up on!
8 more days sounds short. but it seems perfect. perfect amount of time to do everything i want to do... to say goodbye to everyone. and then back home.
it is just perfect. its right.
idk im kinda rambeling becuase im so tired. ha. i need to get good sleep tonight because tomorrow i am bringing soccer balls to the soccer club here and playing with little kids!! oh im so excited.
karen and i got brochettes again tonight. i really enjoying talking with karen :)
anyways... today was overwhelming in such a good way. i have never in my life felt so loved and desired before! makes me feel like i can do something... sometimes you need to see the harvest from the seeds you plant.
im so glad i got to see some of it :)
its weird how much love can do.
felt weird being back... felt like i had been gone for forever.. but i had only been a week.
Jesse told me that it felt like i was gone for weeks and was glad i am back :) made me feel special that i was missed!
felt weird being back... good in a strange way tho.
woke up this morning regular old morning!! they finally made eggs again!! yum i love eggs.
today i took a motor bike taxi to school instead of the buss!! i took one last week with nickie really early one morning and it was really fun!
it was really fast... and not so much walking! which is fine... it sounds lazy but i finally gained all my weight back! ha. its funny how people here notice that... teddy told me i was fat today.. she said she meant it in a good way. they are funny with their words.
anyways it was sooo funny! and so sweet. the second i got off the bike i got attacked by kids like never before!! they were SOO happy to see me. i had about 20 kids hugging me at once! it was overwhelming. i couldnt walk because everywhere i went i had kids hanging on. oh my word it was adorable. made me feel that home feeling again :)
ALL the teachers were so excited to see me.. kisses and hugs all around! we are a little teacher family.. looking out for eachother and taking care of eachother.. i really love them so much! esp teddy.. oh my goodness she was sooo happy to see me! biggest hug ever.
i dont think even after being gone for a month.. that i will get a greeting even close to that when i return to america... and i was only gone for a week!
i feel so loved here... makes me feel like im having an impact... big or small... they wanted me back!!
today was kind of nice and relaxing... the kids played in the field and learned some french songs for like the first 2 hours.. and us teachers went to go look at the vicinity for the end of the year party on friday!
the kids attacked me ALL day! I got some priceless pictures!! they all just want soo badly to hold my hand or hug me or give me a high five... or sit on my lap. ha and it was a really hot day... so it was sooo fun but sooo exhausting!
then when i entered my classroom i felt at home again... feeling like i knew what i was doing. it felt good. walk in and they all stand up and say hello teacher... i ask them how they are and they say fine teacher and i tell them to sit down and they say.. i am sitting down. its the cutest thing ever!
reviewed colors... they all remembered every color right away... i was shocked!!
then i taught them shapes...
and then we did some subtraction.
they were SO well behaved. i was shocked. ha.
then teddy came and passed back their exams. app they took their french and math exams while i was gone. the math that i wasnt responsible for... and the french.. i hadnt taught them any of the stuff on the exams... they learned it before i was there.
i only saw one kids scores but he didnt do too well on the french or the math... but on the english he aced.
again made me feel like i can actually do something for these kids!! i can actually do this.
this whole trip has been extremely humbling and empowering at the same time.
ive have realized the power of one person... in my own weird way.. or just simply loving people with Christs love... its amazing to see the impact u can make. its the strangest and most satisfying feeling.
i felt whole there... completely happy! :)
but then i just got SOOO exhausted. i travel from 6:30am yesterday till 6:30 pm... and it hit me mid day today.
lucky school was over.
i was suppose to go over to nickies aunts house and pick up my phone charger... long story.
teddy and another teacher came with me... and nickies aunt and uncle saw how tired i was and they got me a coke and made me stay and drink it. ha. and then it started POURING rain... so i was stuck there for a couple hours. napped a little. refreshing. i needed it.
but nickie's cousin.. she is 2 1/2 and the cutest girl i have ever seen in my life! i love her sooo much and i found out today she is absolutley obsessed with me. ha its sooo cute. because she is so shy but she loves me so much. she isnt a student.. infact ive barley interacted with her much...
but the entire time i was gone she was asking "wheres becca" "when is becca coming?"
when she heard i was coming today she kept running outside and looking around and going "is becca here yet"
she wouldnt eat much when i was gone... unless her parents told her that when she was done she would be able to see me.
they said she asks for me everyday.. and all she wants is me there.
she is 2 1/2..
she told her parents she loved me today.
:)
she was eating... and something came up and all she could say was I LIKE BECCA
she wanted pictures of me... and gave me kisses on the cheek.
i love her so much.
not even my students remember my name... i am muzugu or teacher to them.... becuase there are so many of them i guess. idk. but she remembered...
again just kind of overwhelmed me... that somehow i had touched her... that for some reason this little girl loved me so much!
i think before i left i felt like i wasnt accomplishing much. i kind of thought all of my kids would forget what i taught them... or that they wouldnt remember me. this kinda proved all of that wrong.
everyone has embraced me soooo much here! i have family everywhere here...
i love it so much.
its funny because nickies aunt is so not happy that i am paying for food and housing. she says next time i go to kampala or kigali im staying with a part of her family... she says i shouldnt have to pay to sleep and eat. shes so sweet :)
i love love these people..
i can leave here now KNOWING that i affected people...
i think its pretty easy to change peoples lives here... just giving them a little love gives them hope. makes me kinda angry at bush. america has SO much power to change lives in a good way... to bring joy and peace to countries like rwanda. fresh water and food... electricity... paved roads. whatever. and we throw away millions and millions and so much freaking money in iraq.
obama better win. ha....
im glad ill be home for the elections. that will be itnresting to see and to catch up on!
8 more days sounds short. but it seems perfect. perfect amount of time to do everything i want to do... to say goodbye to everyone. and then back home.
it is just perfect. its right.
idk im kinda rambeling becuase im so tired. ha. i need to get good sleep tonight because tomorrow i am bringing soccer balls to the soccer club here and playing with little kids!! oh im so excited.
karen and i got brochettes again tonight. i really enjoying talking with karen :)
anyways... today was overwhelming in such a good way. i have never in my life felt so loved and desired before! makes me feel like i can do something... sometimes you need to see the harvest from the seeds you plant.
im so glad i got to see some of it :)
its weird how much love can do.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
buss ride
Here I am... Sitting smooshed on this huge buss driving from uganda to rwanda... Like a ten hour drive. Ha I'm getting used to long drives... Plane rides. I love them actually!!
Its so so so beautiful here. I could sit and stare out the window the entire ride! That's what I did on the way here.
I don't really want to leave uganda. I'm so fond of it. It feels like home... I mean I'm still using a hole in the ground for a bathroom and a bucket full of water for a shower... All of that stuff. That's just something that's normal for me now. But it feels like home... I fit there. Its confirming my call there. Yesterday on the beach. I stood in the dirty water up to my knees with my little dress blowing in the wind and my toes sinking in the mud... The sun setting on this huge lake... Man made boats floating in the distance... The smell of uganda... Teenagers that are about to graduate laughing and playing down the beach... And my friends behind me enjoying the music being played. And I just felt... Home. Its nothing like America... But its home. Every moment I was there I felt at home... People speak English... People my age... A place with a family that treats me as their own. I'm going back...
Everytime I get sad about leaving god just wishera in my ear saying ill bring you back. My heart is here! So he better!! I look at Nickie and I can see hope... I see the 8 uncles and dad and friends that she lost... I see little orphange Nickie... Meeting her mom for the first time since she was two... Pushing herself through school with a drive to be successful... I see her heart when she talks abou the land she bought that she will someday build an orphanage on... I know she is a huge part of why god brought me to Africa. Its funny because if I had come later or earlier... If I hadn't worked at the preschool... If I hadn't gone over to teddies house that one day... I never would have known her. I wouldn't have gotten to uganda. God has perfect timing. When I was in America he promised me uganda... And I didn't even have to try to make it happen!!! Ha.
And now god had opened so many doors for me in the future there... A place I can always return to... Friends... Companies. Home. And now my family and I are going to help Nickie come to America and get her masters degree. An orphange in uganda... Getting her masters degree... Its possible!! And she wants me to help her with her orphanage... I want to I want to!!
Its funny because Nickie was praying for a way to America... Or even just a friend who wouldn't take advantage of her... And I was praying for a friend my age and a way to uganda. God is faithful!!!
He supplied me with the extra money to fix her car so she can get a Job and start saving for america... Money that I could not have spent if I stayed in Africa another month.
When I said goodbye to the family this morning they acted as if I had blessed them with so much... While they were the ones who housed me and fed me. And brought me home.
:)
Yesterday at the beach Nickie and her friend and huston were sitting with our feet in the sand sharing our hardships and joys together... Them asking me questions about America... About marriage... Divorce... Dating... Everday culture... What's rude and what's not.. Money. Gosh things are so different here.
Last borns are cherished here! Wo ho I'm a last born! When a man finds you are a virgin he showers you and your family with gifts... Cause its so rare... And so much more. Its a different world.
Nickies friend and I got so close. She was so sad to say goodbye... And I was to! Its so amazing how close you can get to a person In less than.a day if you just open yourself up.
This place amazes me!! BWA. I don't really miss America anymore. I could stay another month... But I'm not suppose to.
Oh yah I changed my tickets. Ill be home on the 29th.
Its so so so beautiful here. I could sit and stare out the window the entire ride! That's what I did on the way here.
I don't really want to leave uganda. I'm so fond of it. It feels like home... I mean I'm still using a hole in the ground for a bathroom and a bucket full of water for a shower... All of that stuff. That's just something that's normal for me now. But it feels like home... I fit there. Its confirming my call there. Yesterday on the beach. I stood in the dirty water up to my knees with my little dress blowing in the wind and my toes sinking in the mud... The sun setting on this huge lake... Man made boats floating in the distance... The smell of uganda... Teenagers that are about to graduate laughing and playing down the beach... And my friends behind me enjoying the music being played. And I just felt... Home. Its nothing like America... But its home. Every moment I was there I felt at home... People speak English... People my age... A place with a family that treats me as their own. I'm going back...
Everytime I get sad about leaving god just wishera in my ear saying ill bring you back. My heart is here! So he better!! I look at Nickie and I can see hope... I see the 8 uncles and dad and friends that she lost... I see little orphange Nickie... Meeting her mom for the first time since she was two... Pushing herself through school with a drive to be successful... I see her heart when she talks abou the land she bought that she will someday build an orphanage on... I know she is a huge part of why god brought me to Africa. Its funny because if I had come later or earlier... If I hadn't worked at the preschool... If I hadn't gone over to teddies house that one day... I never would have known her. I wouldn't have gotten to uganda. God has perfect timing. When I was in America he promised me uganda... And I didn't even have to try to make it happen!!! Ha.
And now god had opened so many doors for me in the future there... A place I can always return to... Friends... Companies. Home. And now my family and I are going to help Nickie come to America and get her masters degree. An orphange in uganda... Getting her masters degree... Its possible!! And she wants me to help her with her orphanage... I want to I want to!!
Its funny because Nickie was praying for a way to America... Or even just a friend who wouldn't take advantage of her... And I was praying for a friend my age and a way to uganda. God is faithful!!!
He supplied me with the extra money to fix her car so she can get a Job and start saving for america... Money that I could not have spent if I stayed in Africa another month.
When I said goodbye to the family this morning they acted as if I had blessed them with so much... While they were the ones who housed me and fed me. And brought me home.
:)
Yesterday at the beach Nickie and her friend and huston were sitting with our feet in the sand sharing our hardships and joys together... Them asking me questions about America... About marriage... Divorce... Dating... Everday culture... What's rude and what's not.. Money. Gosh things are so different here.
Last borns are cherished here! Wo ho I'm a last born! When a man finds you are a virgin he showers you and your family with gifts... Cause its so rare... And so much more. Its a different world.
Nickies friend and I got so close. She was so sad to say goodbye... And I was to! Its so amazing how close you can get to a person In less than.a day if you just open yourself up.
This place amazes me!! BWA. I don't really miss America anymore. I could stay another month... But I'm not suppose to.
Oh yah I changed my tickets. Ill be home on the 29th.
buss ride
Here I am... Sitting smooshed on this huge buss driving from uganda to rwanda... Like a ten hour drive. Ha I'm getting used to long drives... Plane rides. I love them actually!!
Its so so so beautiful here. I could sit and stare out the window the entire ride! That's what I did on the way here.
I don't really want to leave uganda. I'm so fond of it. It feels like home... I mean I'm still using a hole in the ground for a bathroom and a bucket full of water for a shower... All of that stuff. That's just something that's normal for me now. But it feels like home... I fit there. Its confirming my call there. Yesterday on the beach. I stood in the dirty water up to my knees with my little dress blowing in the wind and my toes sinking in the mud... The sun setting on this huge lake... Man made boats floating in the distance... The smell of uganda... Teenagers that are about to graduate laughing and playing down the beach... And my friends behind me enjoying the music being played. And I just felt... Home. Its nothing like America... But its home. Every moment I was there I felt at home... People speak English... People my age... A place with a family that treats me as their own. I'm going back...
Everytime I get sad about leaving god just wishera in my ear saying ill bring you back. My heart is here! So he better!! I look at Nickie and I can see hope... I see the 8 uncles and dad and friends that she lost... I see little orphange Nickie... Meeting her mom for the first time since she was two... Pushing herself through school with a drive to be successful... I see her heart when she talks abou the land she bought that she will someday build an orphanage on... I know she is a huge part of why god brought me to Africa. Its funny because if I had come later or earlier... If I hadn't worked at the preschool... If I hadn't gone over to teddies house that one day... I never would have known her. I wouldn't have gotten to uganda. God has perfect timing. When I was in America he promised me uganda... And I didn't even have to try to make it happen!!! Ha.
And now god had opened so many doors for me in the future there... A place I can always return to... Friends... Companies. Home. And now my family and I are going to help Nickie come to America and get her masters degree. An orphange in uganda... Getting her masters degree... Its possible!! And she wants me to help her with her orphanage... I want to I want to!!
Its funny because Nickie was praying for a way to America... Or even just a friend who wouldn't take advantage of her... And I was praying for a friend my age and a way to uganda. God is faithful!!!
He supplied me with the extra money to fix her car so she can get a Job and start saving for america... Money that I could not have spent if I stayed in Africa another month.
When I said goodbye to the family this morning they acted as if I had blessed them with so much... While they were the ones who housed me and fed me. And brought me home.
:)
Yesterday at the beach Nickie and her friend and huston were sitting with our feet in the sand sharing our hardships and joys together... Them asking me questions about America... About marriage... Divorce... Dating... Everday culture... What's rude and what's not.. Money. Gosh things are so different here.
Last borns are cherished here! Wo ho I'm a last born! When a man finds you are a virgin he showers you and your family with gifts... Cause its so rare... And so much more. Its a different world.
Nickies friend and I got so close. She was so sad to say goodbye... And I was to! Its so amazing how close you can get to a person In less than.a day if you just open yourself up.
This place amazes me!! BWA. I don't really miss America anymore. I could stay another month... But I'm not suppose to.
Oh yah I changed my tickets. Ill be home on the 29th.
Its so so so beautiful here. I could sit and stare out the window the entire ride! That's what I did on the way here.
I don't really want to leave uganda. I'm so fond of it. It feels like home... I mean I'm still using a hole in the ground for a bathroom and a bucket full of water for a shower... All of that stuff. That's just something that's normal for me now. But it feels like home... I fit there. Its confirming my call there. Yesterday on the beach. I stood in the dirty water up to my knees with my little dress blowing in the wind and my toes sinking in the mud... The sun setting on this huge lake... Man made boats floating in the distance... The smell of uganda... Teenagers that are about to graduate laughing and playing down the beach... And my friends behind me enjoying the music being played. And I just felt... Home. Its nothing like America... But its home. Every moment I was there I felt at home... People speak English... People my age... A place with a family that treats me as their own. I'm going back...
Everytime I get sad about leaving god just wishera in my ear saying ill bring you back. My heart is here! So he better!! I look at Nickie and I can see hope... I see the 8 uncles and dad and friends that she lost... I see little orphange Nickie... Meeting her mom for the first time since she was two... Pushing herself through school with a drive to be successful... I see her heart when she talks abou the land she bought that she will someday build an orphanage on... I know she is a huge part of why god brought me to Africa. Its funny because if I had come later or earlier... If I hadn't worked at the preschool... If I hadn't gone over to teddies house that one day... I never would have known her. I wouldn't have gotten to uganda. God has perfect timing. When I was in America he promised me uganda... And I didn't even have to try to make it happen!!! Ha.
And now god had opened so many doors for me in the future there... A place I can always return to... Friends... Companies. Home. And now my family and I are going to help Nickie come to America and get her masters degree. An orphange in uganda... Getting her masters degree... Its possible!! And she wants me to help her with her orphanage... I want to I want to!!
Its funny because Nickie was praying for a way to America... Or even just a friend who wouldn't take advantage of her... And I was praying for a friend my age and a way to uganda. God is faithful!!!
He supplied me with the extra money to fix her car so she can get a Job and start saving for america... Money that I could not have spent if I stayed in Africa another month.
When I said goodbye to the family this morning they acted as if I had blessed them with so much... While they were the ones who housed me and fed me. And brought me home.
:)
Yesterday at the beach Nickie and her friend and huston were sitting with our feet in the sand sharing our hardships and joys together... Them asking me questions about America... About marriage... Divorce... Dating... Everday culture... What's rude and what's not.. Money. Gosh things are so different here.
Last borns are cherished here! Wo ho I'm a last born! When a man finds you are a virgin he showers you and your family with gifts... Cause its so rare... And so much more. Its a different world.
Nickies friend and I got so close. She was so sad to say goodbye... And I was to! Its so amazing how close you can get to a person In less than.a day if you just open yourself up.
This place amazes me!! BWA. I don't really miss America anymore. I could stay another month... But I'm not suppose to.
Oh yah I changed my tickets. Ill be home on the 29th.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
long day in uganda!
I couldn't sleep last night... So much on my mind! I woke up and Nickie and I went and picked up the woman who was going to plate my hair...
Ha she started at like 8... And it took forever. She didint understand what I wanted and it turned out horrible... I looked like a weird foreign tree... That kind of put me in a spur mood... Because I was so tired. And I had gone through a lot of pain... And looked ridiculous.
Then Nickie and I went out to go shopping... I was just really tired so it wasn't fun at first... But then I got out of my funk and just started having fun!
Going to little individual shops..everything is so so cheap.
So that was fun...
But then we had to go to the Police station for some paper work... Nickie said she would only be a couple of minutes... So I stayed in the car. Something happened and I ended up boiling for like an hour and a half...
Was not fun.
Sweating made me realize how dirty I was... Because you could see dirt in my sweat. It was disgusting.
Then we bought a pizza!! Oh it was so so so good.
We were sitting in the restaurant in the middle of the city and outside there is a tree with birds... About half the size of me sitting in them!! It was a strange sight!
Came home... Spent forever taking the plated hair out... And washed and got ready because we were going to a club!!
We had bought this adorable dress for me! I love it so much!
We ended up going to this concert called stand up and take action... Raising money to fight poverty... That was really cool. Some major people were there...
Felt good to be a part of that. Ha but there was this guy who I am pretty sure was pretty drunk who was dancing really really funny... But he bought us all drinks... Several..and he was really nice. And he became like a security guard ha. I was standing and a girl came up behind me and he slapped her!! Ha he thought she was trying to rob me. Nickie says she prob was... Ha felt good to have my security. But everytime Nickie or her cousin would leave for something he would start telling me how good I looked and he wanted my number and we wanted to give me his shirt shoes car and a hundred dollars... And saying he loved me. Nickie lectured him ha ha it was funny. I felt so safe and protected.
After a while we left there and headed to the club. It was so cool!!! The club was so nice and the decorations were so amazing!the lighting... And the place was huge! So many rooms and floors!!! At first no one was dancing... Nickie her cousin and I kinds started it. Then by the end of the night there were so so so so so many people! I was hoping it wouldn't be like American clubs and it wasn't!! So much cleaner.. When it comes to the dancing. It was just relaxing and fun. Guys have you space... It was weird though... I never feel comfortable dancing in crowds... Here in Africa I feel comfortable everywhere... Especially in uganda... Ha I thought in an African club I would look like a fool... But the girls were following me. Ha what the heck!? I have never in my life gotten told I am a good dancer... App in Africa I am!! Its so funny... They love my legs and hair and feet and Dave and everything here... Maybe that's why I'm comfortable... Gives me a confidence. I think I am just made for Africa though!
And its weird. I guess all white girls in the clubs usually are smoking and drinking so I confused everyone! It was cool... Because you have no idea how many conversations it opened up!! I ended up talking about the lord with several people... I was like this is so cool!! Nickies cousin was so so so protective of me. Ha no one could even step on my feet.
We didn't finish and get home till 4am.
I just conked out when I got back!!
Woke up this morning to breakfast made by Nickie! Aw!! Then nickies gorgeous friend came over and they dressed me up and we went to the zoo!!
It was so fun! It is funny tho... And sad. They live in Africa and had never seen an elephant or a lion or a rhino before... They were so confused! They didn't even know what a donkey is... We had a lot of fun... It was so hot!!!
Then we drove down to the beach!!! Oh so gorgeous! Dirty water but whatever! We waded in the water... And met some fun people and ate the freshest fish you could ever ask for... And listened to music and talked about our lives and about American culture... And so so so many things until the sun started going down. So relaxing and nice! Then back to nickies for sugar cane! I love sugar cane... So much!
Everyday Nickie gives me a new shirt or earrings or something! Its overwhelming!!
I'm going to miss it here!! I leave early in the morning... No more Nickie... No more huston! No more pineapple and sugar cane... No more driving and relaxing and seeing the country. No more uganda. Back to rwanda ... Back to work. Oh how I love my work... And rwanda. But I love it here. The people are more relaxed and accepting... No one stares and everyone seems to work hard.
I feel called here... Ill be back here. I know it.
Ha she started at like 8... And it took forever. She didint understand what I wanted and it turned out horrible... I looked like a weird foreign tree... That kind of put me in a spur mood... Because I was so tired. And I had gone through a lot of pain... And looked ridiculous.
Then Nickie and I went out to go shopping... I was just really tired so it wasn't fun at first... But then I got out of my funk and just started having fun!
Going to little individual shops..everything is so so cheap.
So that was fun...
But then we had to go to the Police station for some paper work... Nickie said she would only be a couple of minutes... So I stayed in the car. Something happened and I ended up boiling for like an hour and a half...
Was not fun.
Sweating made me realize how dirty I was... Because you could see dirt in my sweat. It was disgusting.
Then we bought a pizza!! Oh it was so so so good.
We were sitting in the restaurant in the middle of the city and outside there is a tree with birds... About half the size of me sitting in them!! It was a strange sight!
Came home... Spent forever taking the plated hair out... And washed and got ready because we were going to a club!!
We had bought this adorable dress for me! I love it so much!
We ended up going to this concert called stand up and take action... Raising money to fight poverty... That was really cool. Some major people were there...
Felt good to be a part of that. Ha but there was this guy who I am pretty sure was pretty drunk who was dancing really really funny... But he bought us all drinks... Several..and he was really nice. And he became like a security guard ha. I was standing and a girl came up behind me and he slapped her!! Ha he thought she was trying to rob me. Nickie says she prob was... Ha felt good to have my security. But everytime Nickie or her cousin would leave for something he would start telling me how good I looked and he wanted my number and we wanted to give me his shirt shoes car and a hundred dollars... And saying he loved me. Nickie lectured him ha ha it was funny. I felt so safe and protected.
After a while we left there and headed to the club. It was so cool!!! The club was so nice and the decorations were so amazing!the lighting... And the place was huge! So many rooms and floors!!! At first no one was dancing... Nickie her cousin and I kinds started it. Then by the end of the night there were so so so so so many people! I was hoping it wouldn't be like American clubs and it wasn't!! So much cleaner.. When it comes to the dancing. It was just relaxing and fun. Guys have you space... It was weird though... I never feel comfortable dancing in crowds... Here in Africa I feel comfortable everywhere... Especially in uganda... Ha I thought in an African club I would look like a fool... But the girls were following me. Ha what the heck!? I have never in my life gotten told I am a good dancer... App in Africa I am!! Its so funny... They love my legs and hair and feet and Dave and everything here... Maybe that's why I'm comfortable... Gives me a confidence. I think I am just made for Africa though!
And its weird. I guess all white girls in the clubs usually are smoking and drinking so I confused everyone! It was cool... Because you have no idea how many conversations it opened up!! I ended up talking about the lord with several people... I was like this is so cool!! Nickies cousin was so so so protective of me. Ha no one could even step on my feet.
We didn't finish and get home till 4am.
I just conked out when I got back!!
Woke up this morning to breakfast made by Nickie! Aw!! Then nickies gorgeous friend came over and they dressed me up and we went to the zoo!!
It was so fun! It is funny tho... And sad. They live in Africa and had never seen an elephant or a lion or a rhino before... They were so confused! They didn't even know what a donkey is... We had a lot of fun... It was so hot!!!
Then we drove down to the beach!!! Oh so gorgeous! Dirty water but whatever! We waded in the water... And met some fun people and ate the freshest fish you could ever ask for... And listened to music and talked about our lives and about American culture... And so so so many things until the sun started going down. So relaxing and nice! Then back to nickies for sugar cane! I love sugar cane... So much!
Everyday Nickie gives me a new shirt or earrings or something! Its overwhelming!!
I'm going to miss it here!! I leave early in the morning... No more Nickie... No more huston! No more pineapple and sugar cane... No more driving and relaxing and seeing the country. No more uganda. Back to rwanda ... Back to work. Oh how I love my work... And rwanda. But I love it here. The people are more relaxed and accepting... No one stares and everyone seems to work hard.
I feel called here... Ill be back here. I know it.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
uganda!!!
Gs its been a crazy week! I am in uganda..and I'm doing this on my phone..
Tuesday my kids took their English final!! Every single one of them passed!! I am so proud of them! Feel like I am actually effecting their lives now!! Now that I can see it!
After school teddy sent me off to nickies house... And the school guard carried my suitcase on her head..it was so cool!
But I got to nickies house but noone was there. I say there for about 3 hours... No one showed up. And I can't call anyone here. Started freaking out. And then through a number of circumstances my bags got locked in this house with someone I don't know! I hadn't eaten all day.. Ha I just started crying. These little kids saw me crying and they went and got their dad. Ha ha. He was a pastor and brought me into his house... He let me use his phone and I called teddy... App she was suppose to call Nickie when I left the school ha. Nickie hurried over and pampered me... Since I had sat in the sun with no food for like 4 hours. She made me the best and simplest meal I have had here. Their fench dries are amazing!
Anyways stayed there... Her family comes and goes a lot. Her cousins who are like 10 and 8 were there and of course they loved me. The little boy gave me a beaclet... Ill keep it forever!! So cute.
Then three of us ... The older girls ha. They were both like 24... But who cares. We decided to go out! So I put on the nicest clothes I brought... Getting ready... Made me miss america. I didn't bring anything nice and I just felt gross... But again made me ralize how blessed I am... Even here I am so blessed!
Dinner was fun!! White people were there!!
Nickie and her cousin were talking about how much they hate African Men... They say all they want is to spoil your life... From their stories it sounded true. Ha so sad. They sad even the pastor I met cheated on his wife with the maid because she didn't have birth control and he would t give her money to go get it... So she wouldn't give him sex for one night. That's ridiculous!!
Then we went to nickies coinsins house to spend the night...
Woke up... Got ready and went and caught the bus.
Spent the next 11 hours traveling to kampala. I love love love driving here. I stared out the window the entire time... The hills... Oh my word the raw life this place holds!!!
Huge fields with one person and I hoe.
Weird huge birds... Really scary roads... Weird trees. It was amazing... That is where my heart longs to be. Outside of the city... Raw pure untouched life!
Crossing the border was intersting... You walk like a mile and then get back on the buss. Ha
Then I was in uganda!!! Instant happiness.
Uganda is a different kind of beautiful.
Some horrible roads! Swevinh left and right avoiding huge holes.
Ha by the way... We pee in holes here... In a lot of parts of Africa. That was a big adjustment for me... Ha.
Long long long trip. Saw more amazing things when I can describe!!
Now I am in uganda!!!!!! In the capital with my new best friend! Oh I couldn't be happier. Met her family..sweetest people ever!! Very effected by the genocide... It breaks my heart... Even in uganda families are torn apart.
By the way I don't get to take a real shower after all. Their water isn't running. Oh well. So much for that. This place... You can't get your hopes up much or you will get let down. Ha
They made me an amazing dinner... Well for africa. I'm getting used to this more I think.
I called my mom and found out we are having problems getting my ticket chaged. Unless I get.a note from a doctor saying that staying here would cause me extreme depression or anxiety then I have to pay like 2000 more dollars to go home early. I was so tired and I just started crying. If I had my work I would stay and be good. But I don't have the money to pay for my house and food in rwanda... Not now that I lost the money though. I know people could send me money but I would go crazy! There is nothing for me in rwanda... All the schools are out... Karen is leaving and Nickie will stay in uganda.
I'm just yielding to gods will again though... If he wants me tp stay after all then he will open up a door for me.
But its funny because nickies uncle is a doctor... In kampala... Easy for him to write a statement saying that as a minor... In a foreign country... Alone... With no job... That I would be extremely anxious.
If I was in rwanda it would be really hard to get that... Because they don't speak English well enough... Butt here I am in kampala... Where English is a main language... And ha he is a family friend! God is funny.
So I got to sleep in today!! Nickie came and got me and she had breakfast all ready! Eggs and bread and meat. Ha. They thought it was weird that I had water with that... I just won't risk the milk here.
Then I had a sponge down. It was more plasnt here... They have a better system for it. Ha.
Uganda is so rich compared to uganda... Still poor... But they are much better off than rwandans.
Got ready... And finally felt nice! Oh how good that felt. And Nickie has her car here!! Which died on us later. Ha but it was fun. Driving around with her. Exchaning my money. The us dollar here is so so so good.
We drove into the city and shopping here is so fun!! But oh my word its so hot here! Too hot for my jeans and shirts and closed toed shoes!! We shopped for a bit... Everthing is so cheap for me... But I just got kind of frustreated... Shopping with Nickie isn't exactly fun. I don't like shopping when the other person isn't looking also. Feels like pressur. And she kept picking up things I didn't like... We have very different taste. Ha
She didn't want anything...
But I just felt pushed... I think she doesn't mean to be pushy... But she is. In a way that tries to be caring... But isn't. Ha just try and let it go over my head. Even with money... I paid for the mechanic... She didn't ask she just took the money. Which was in her wallet. But it was a weird feeling for me. She paid me back without me asking. But it is just a didderby culture. In America you don't tell people to do things... You don't use their money as your own.
Then she asked me to pay for her gas which I did... But its just weird. I'm glad that she asked for that one at least ha!! Ages very sweet.. Its just how things are here.
They are very caring and giving in a different way... I have plenty of money here though.
Oh I'm spending the money I have because my mom called me and told me not to go to the doctor because she is working with the insurance company to get me home for cheaper... For a simple chaning fee. Couple hundred dollars. Money that I saved for my trip and left in america... So I hopefully will fly home on the 28th... Its cheaper then the 25th. And I would be alone.
That gives me a couple of extra days in rwanda... Say goodbye to teddy... Go to a coffee farm... I can spread some things out a little. Oh I hope that works. I just don't know what I would do here... I didn't come to Africa to shop or relax... If I am to stay ill prob come back to uganda and stay with Nickie... They offfered me food and housing for free!! And I'm sure I could find an orphanage or something. Is invisible children head quarters in kampala??
Either way...i want to please god! Stay or go!!!
I had a milk shake! And some ice cream! Something sweet felt so so so good!
Uganda is so different. Feels more like home... Prob because no one stares at me! Few Americans... But still no one stares! They still call to me and blow me kisses or try and grab my arm... But I've learned to deal with that... And that's only in the busy shopping areas.
Me Nickie and her mom are going to dinner tonight!! And tomorrow I shall get my hair plated... And then go see the land Nickie bought to someday build an orphange on... She wants me to help hee. I love uganda and maybe I will someday!! When we both finish school.
Nickie told me all about her life today.
Hard not to cry. Lost her father in the genocide and than her mother dissaperered. She lived with her grand parents... Thinking she was an orphange. Her mom eventually came back with money.
That's a very short version.
Anyways. I am excited for the beach... Ha ha and we are going dancing tomorrow night. Ha ha ha ha
This is a mini vacation for me. Ha ha then.next week I will be refreshed and will poor everything I have into those children!!! There is your update!!!
Tuesday my kids took their English final!! Every single one of them passed!! I am so proud of them! Feel like I am actually effecting their lives now!! Now that I can see it!
After school teddy sent me off to nickies house... And the school guard carried my suitcase on her head..it was so cool!
But I got to nickies house but noone was there. I say there for about 3 hours... No one showed up. And I can't call anyone here. Started freaking out. And then through a number of circumstances my bags got locked in this house with someone I don't know! I hadn't eaten all day.. Ha I just started crying. These little kids saw me crying and they went and got their dad. Ha ha. He was a pastor and brought me into his house... He let me use his phone and I called teddy... App she was suppose to call Nickie when I left the school ha. Nickie hurried over and pampered me... Since I had sat in the sun with no food for like 4 hours. She made me the best and simplest meal I have had here. Their fench dries are amazing!
Anyways stayed there... Her family comes and goes a lot. Her cousins who are like 10 and 8 were there and of course they loved me. The little boy gave me a beaclet... Ill keep it forever!! So cute.
Then three of us ... The older girls ha. They were both like 24... But who cares. We decided to go out! So I put on the nicest clothes I brought... Getting ready... Made me miss america. I didn't bring anything nice and I just felt gross... But again made me ralize how blessed I am... Even here I am so blessed!
Dinner was fun!! White people were there!!
Nickie and her cousin were talking about how much they hate African Men... They say all they want is to spoil your life... From their stories it sounded true. Ha so sad. They sad even the pastor I met cheated on his wife with the maid because she didn't have birth control and he would t give her money to go get it... So she wouldn't give him sex for one night. That's ridiculous!!
Then we went to nickies coinsins house to spend the night...
Woke up... Got ready and went and caught the bus.
Spent the next 11 hours traveling to kampala. I love love love driving here. I stared out the window the entire time... The hills... Oh my word the raw life this place holds!!!
Huge fields with one person and I hoe.
Weird huge birds... Really scary roads... Weird trees. It was amazing... That is where my heart longs to be. Outside of the city... Raw pure untouched life!
Crossing the border was intersting... You walk like a mile and then get back on the buss. Ha
Then I was in uganda!!! Instant happiness.
Uganda is a different kind of beautiful.
Some horrible roads! Swevinh left and right avoiding huge holes.
Ha by the way... We pee in holes here... In a lot of parts of Africa. That was a big adjustment for me... Ha.
Long long long trip. Saw more amazing things when I can describe!!
Now I am in uganda!!!!!! In the capital with my new best friend! Oh I couldn't be happier. Met her family..sweetest people ever!! Very effected by the genocide... It breaks my heart... Even in uganda families are torn apart.
By the way I don't get to take a real shower after all. Their water isn't running. Oh well. So much for that. This place... You can't get your hopes up much or you will get let down. Ha
They made me an amazing dinner... Well for africa. I'm getting used to this more I think.
I called my mom and found out we are having problems getting my ticket chaged. Unless I get.a note from a doctor saying that staying here would cause me extreme depression or anxiety then I have to pay like 2000 more dollars to go home early. I was so tired and I just started crying. If I had my work I would stay and be good. But I don't have the money to pay for my house and food in rwanda... Not now that I lost the money though. I know people could send me money but I would go crazy! There is nothing for me in rwanda... All the schools are out... Karen is leaving and Nickie will stay in uganda.
I'm just yielding to gods will again though... If he wants me tp stay after all then he will open up a door for me.
But its funny because nickies uncle is a doctor... In kampala... Easy for him to write a statement saying that as a minor... In a foreign country... Alone... With no job... That I would be extremely anxious.
If I was in rwanda it would be really hard to get that... Because they don't speak English well enough... Butt here I am in kampala... Where English is a main language... And ha he is a family friend! God is funny.
So I got to sleep in today!! Nickie came and got me and she had breakfast all ready! Eggs and bread and meat. Ha. They thought it was weird that I had water with that... I just won't risk the milk here.
Then I had a sponge down. It was more plasnt here... They have a better system for it. Ha.
Uganda is so rich compared to uganda... Still poor... But they are much better off than rwandans.
Got ready... And finally felt nice! Oh how good that felt. And Nickie has her car here!! Which died on us later. Ha but it was fun. Driving around with her. Exchaning my money. The us dollar here is so so so good.
We drove into the city and shopping here is so fun!! But oh my word its so hot here! Too hot for my jeans and shirts and closed toed shoes!! We shopped for a bit... Everthing is so cheap for me... But I just got kind of frustreated... Shopping with Nickie isn't exactly fun. I don't like shopping when the other person isn't looking also. Feels like pressur. And she kept picking up things I didn't like... We have very different taste. Ha
She didn't want anything...
But I just felt pushed... I think she doesn't mean to be pushy... But she is. In a way that tries to be caring... But isn't. Ha just try and let it go over my head. Even with money... I paid for the mechanic... She didn't ask she just took the money. Which was in her wallet. But it was a weird feeling for me. She paid me back without me asking. But it is just a didderby culture. In America you don't tell people to do things... You don't use their money as your own.
Then she asked me to pay for her gas which I did... But its just weird. I'm glad that she asked for that one at least ha!! Ages very sweet.. Its just how things are here.
They are very caring and giving in a different way... I have plenty of money here though.
Oh I'm spending the money I have because my mom called me and told me not to go to the doctor because she is working with the insurance company to get me home for cheaper... For a simple chaning fee. Couple hundred dollars. Money that I saved for my trip and left in america... So I hopefully will fly home on the 28th... Its cheaper then the 25th. And I would be alone.
That gives me a couple of extra days in rwanda... Say goodbye to teddy... Go to a coffee farm... I can spread some things out a little. Oh I hope that works. I just don't know what I would do here... I didn't come to Africa to shop or relax... If I am to stay ill prob come back to uganda and stay with Nickie... They offfered me food and housing for free!! And I'm sure I could find an orphanage or something. Is invisible children head quarters in kampala??
Either way...i want to please god! Stay or go!!!
I had a milk shake! And some ice cream! Something sweet felt so so so good!
Uganda is so different. Feels more like home... Prob because no one stares at me! Few Americans... But still no one stares! They still call to me and blow me kisses or try and grab my arm... But I've learned to deal with that... And that's only in the busy shopping areas.
Me Nickie and her mom are going to dinner tonight!! And tomorrow I shall get my hair plated... And then go see the land Nickie bought to someday build an orphange on... She wants me to help hee. I love uganda and maybe I will someday!! When we both finish school.
Nickie told me all about her life today.
Hard not to cry. Lost her father in the genocide and than her mother dissaperered. She lived with her grand parents... Thinking she was an orphange. Her mom eventually came back with money.
That's a very short version.
Anyways. I am excited for the beach... Ha ha and we are going dancing tomorrow night. Ha ha ha ha
This is a mini vacation for me. Ha ha then.next week I will be refreshed and will poor everything I have into those children!!! There is your update!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Weird Couple of Days
Wow... its been a strange couple of days.
saturday i was suppose to go to the coffee farm but we got rained out...
so i just kinda relaxed and read the word... and did laundry. and such and such
my eye was really bothering me. as always when i go to a foreign country. it was just one eye. now its both. erg. they dont HURT they are just all red.. its weird. i think its the water. or the dust.. or something
anyways. last night karen and jesse and i went to an italian restaurant here in Kigali. it was like a 2 mile walk there.. and then you went through this fence back off the road a ways.. and BAM your in the middle of this jungle thing.. down these steps lit with torces.. and its this adorable little tiki like restaurant.. way up on this hill and its open and you can see the entire city with all the lights.
it was really really really cool. i had pizza.. but i didnt eat too much. didnt want to risk the whole cheese thing... like the milk i had before.
it was funny... because here i am.. a 17 year old.. sitting in an Italian restraunt in AFRICA with a 50 something year old woman and a 31 year old man.. who i like is gay. eating pizza. and idk... talking about politics.. the economy.. and smoking.. and the culture.
haha it was a strange but wonderful thing. ha.
anyways... now the im comfortable here.. ive realized how depressed these people are...
they always talk about their hardships... and they are NEVER comfortable.. always seem to be on the edge. or at least alot of them. and soo many of them just stare at you.. and wont smile.. and its weird becuase in America if someone catches you staring u look away. theese people just stare at you.. turning AROUND to continue to stare. jesse told me to just stare back until they cracked. haha i have yet to try that one.
today we had a meeting with the parents at the school. i had to be there are 7am.. intead of 8. not too bad... but i have to walk like 3 miles... and i couldnt seem to catch a bus this morning!! but i ran into John.. a teacher i work with.. he was strugling to get a bus too.. weird. and we were late together. ha.
everyone is late everywhere here. punctuality doesnt really... exist.
so basically i sat in a meeting outside.. on child size benches... in the middle of this dirt field for at least an hour or two.. with NO idea what was going on because they were all speaking Kinyarwanda!! and everyonce in a while they would say the word Muzungu... and everyone would loook at me and laugh... haha i was soo confused.
app all the parents were telling teddy that they wanted me to come back in January to teach their kids... teddy... and everyone wants me back. oh i wish i could... so bad. but at the same time... not. i mean i have my school to finish.. and as amazing as this is. and as fun... it is so hard.. and exhausting... and yah. ha no. not right now in my life.
but it makes me feel honored :)
its so funny.. teddy doesnt want me to go... and nickie is trying to get me to come to Uganda for longer. when you met someone here its like your their best friend right away!!
im coming home on the 26th tho... im just suppose to.. i know it.
John keeps talking about being my fiance... hahahaha john. its so strange.
u have NO NO NO idea how many guys have asked me to marry them. its like.. ive known u for 3 minutes!!! john at least ive known for a week now. hahaha.
but seriously.. even on the way to this cafe.. this guy and woman called me over at the open little restarant at the end of the road... and oredered me a coke.. and by the end of the conversation the guy was telling me all he wants is to marry a white woman.
its so strange. all they want is white. to be white. to marry white. nickie told me she wants to marry a white man today...
when a guy tells me that.. i wonder if they think it makes me happy. it really doesnt. its like okay... ALL you seem to care about is the color. hmmmmmm what about the heart?
what about WHO i am... not just what i look like.
its a very very strange culture.
i literally could stand in the street and yell WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME... and have my pick.
WHY!? that shouldnt happen. because im white? that is really sad... every man i talk to says they feel better because im around. and that they dont meet many white woman. im just an oppertunity to them... ha. hm. hm. hm.
after school today nickie the little baby and i went up to teddys house for lunch. the view from her house is GORGEOUS. u can see all of kigali! i love it :)
i love it here. and i love the people. but part of me is exhausted. and tired of how i am treated.
they treat me like royalty but.. also kind of like a baby.
becca dont fall
becca eat more
becca sleep
becca eat your meat
becca more sauce.
becca becca becca
i can make my own decisions about how much to eat... but no one listens when i say no more... or that im not tired... it gets kinda.. old.
they love me so much. and i love them to.
its just such a different culture.. everything here is completely upside down from america.
i miss home.. i miss feeling at home. i LOVE it here... and want to be here sooo badly.
but im kinda emotionally spent today.
tired of people staring at me.. and asking me to marry them because im white...
people wanting to be my friend because im white.
part of that makes me happy.. im a symbol of hope in a weird way.. and i have the power to make people smile.
but sometimes i just dont want the attention.
i want people to listen to me when i say i dont want to give them my phone number... or go to dinner with them..
i wish people would listen sometimes. this culture is very pushy.
i love it here. so much. its just sooo strange for me.
did you know that Africans dont grow hair on their arms or legs or feet or stomachs?
they think its soo strange i have hair on my arms.. and that i shave my legs.
i wish i didnt have to shave my legs!! ha.
they love my legs here... its so funny. everyone wants me to wear skirts everyday.
it boosts my confidence thats for sure.
im rambeling. i havent had a chance to collect my thoughts today. ha.
tomorrow i am giving the children their english exams... dont know why. i was told to. ha.
good luck kids!!!
and then i am spending the night at nickies and then very very early wednesday morning im off to uganda!!
i hear people are friendlier there..
i thought the people here are friendly.
but app in comparison they are mean. oh that sounds nice.. i think. ha.
im excited. its like a mini vacation.. in the middle of an amazing trip.
this trip is amazing... with 2 more weeks to go!!!!
saturday i was suppose to go to the coffee farm but we got rained out...
so i just kinda relaxed and read the word... and did laundry. and such and such
my eye was really bothering me. as always when i go to a foreign country. it was just one eye. now its both. erg. they dont HURT they are just all red.. its weird. i think its the water. or the dust.. or something
anyways. last night karen and jesse and i went to an italian restaurant here in Kigali. it was like a 2 mile walk there.. and then you went through this fence back off the road a ways.. and BAM your in the middle of this jungle thing.. down these steps lit with torces.. and its this adorable little tiki like restaurant.. way up on this hill and its open and you can see the entire city with all the lights.
it was really really really cool. i had pizza.. but i didnt eat too much. didnt want to risk the whole cheese thing... like the milk i had before.
it was funny... because here i am.. a 17 year old.. sitting in an Italian restraunt in AFRICA with a 50 something year old woman and a 31 year old man.. who i like is gay. eating pizza. and idk... talking about politics.. the economy.. and smoking.. and the culture.
haha it was a strange but wonderful thing. ha.
anyways... now the im comfortable here.. ive realized how depressed these people are...
they always talk about their hardships... and they are NEVER comfortable.. always seem to be on the edge. or at least alot of them. and soo many of them just stare at you.. and wont smile.. and its weird becuase in America if someone catches you staring u look away. theese people just stare at you.. turning AROUND to continue to stare. jesse told me to just stare back until they cracked. haha i have yet to try that one.
today we had a meeting with the parents at the school. i had to be there are 7am.. intead of 8. not too bad... but i have to walk like 3 miles... and i couldnt seem to catch a bus this morning!! but i ran into John.. a teacher i work with.. he was strugling to get a bus too.. weird. and we were late together. ha.
everyone is late everywhere here. punctuality doesnt really... exist.
so basically i sat in a meeting outside.. on child size benches... in the middle of this dirt field for at least an hour or two.. with NO idea what was going on because they were all speaking Kinyarwanda!! and everyonce in a while they would say the word Muzungu... and everyone would loook at me and laugh... haha i was soo confused.
app all the parents were telling teddy that they wanted me to come back in January to teach their kids... teddy... and everyone wants me back. oh i wish i could... so bad. but at the same time... not. i mean i have my school to finish.. and as amazing as this is. and as fun... it is so hard.. and exhausting... and yah. ha no. not right now in my life.
but it makes me feel honored :)
its so funny.. teddy doesnt want me to go... and nickie is trying to get me to come to Uganda for longer. when you met someone here its like your their best friend right away!!
im coming home on the 26th tho... im just suppose to.. i know it.
John keeps talking about being my fiance... hahahaha john. its so strange.
u have NO NO NO idea how many guys have asked me to marry them. its like.. ive known u for 3 minutes!!! john at least ive known for a week now. hahaha.
but seriously.. even on the way to this cafe.. this guy and woman called me over at the open little restarant at the end of the road... and oredered me a coke.. and by the end of the conversation the guy was telling me all he wants is to marry a white woman.
its so strange. all they want is white. to be white. to marry white. nickie told me she wants to marry a white man today...
when a guy tells me that.. i wonder if they think it makes me happy. it really doesnt. its like okay... ALL you seem to care about is the color. hmmmmmm what about the heart?
what about WHO i am... not just what i look like.
its a very very strange culture.
i literally could stand in the street and yell WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME... and have my pick.
WHY!? that shouldnt happen. because im white? that is really sad... every man i talk to says they feel better because im around. and that they dont meet many white woman. im just an oppertunity to them... ha. hm. hm. hm.
after school today nickie the little baby and i went up to teddys house for lunch. the view from her house is GORGEOUS. u can see all of kigali! i love it :)
i love it here. and i love the people. but part of me is exhausted. and tired of how i am treated.
they treat me like royalty but.. also kind of like a baby.
becca dont fall
becca eat more
becca sleep
becca eat your meat
becca more sauce.
becca becca becca
i can make my own decisions about how much to eat... but no one listens when i say no more... or that im not tired... it gets kinda.. old.
they love me so much. and i love them to.
its just such a different culture.. everything here is completely upside down from america.
i miss home.. i miss feeling at home. i LOVE it here... and want to be here sooo badly.
but im kinda emotionally spent today.
tired of people staring at me.. and asking me to marry them because im white...
people wanting to be my friend because im white.
part of that makes me happy.. im a symbol of hope in a weird way.. and i have the power to make people smile.
but sometimes i just dont want the attention.
i want people to listen to me when i say i dont want to give them my phone number... or go to dinner with them..
i wish people would listen sometimes. this culture is very pushy.
i love it here. so much. its just sooo strange for me.
did you know that Africans dont grow hair on their arms or legs or feet or stomachs?
they think its soo strange i have hair on my arms.. and that i shave my legs.
i wish i didnt have to shave my legs!! ha.
they love my legs here... its so funny. everyone wants me to wear skirts everyday.
it boosts my confidence thats for sure.
im rambeling. i havent had a chance to collect my thoughts today. ha.
tomorrow i am giving the children their english exams... dont know why. i was told to. ha.
good luck kids!!!
and then i am spending the night at nickies and then very very early wednesday morning im off to uganda!!
i hear people are friendlier there..
i thought the people here are friendly.
but app in comparison they are mean. oh that sounds nice.. i think. ha.
im excited. its like a mini vacation.. in the middle of an amazing trip.
this trip is amazing... with 2 more weeks to go!!!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Nyamata
wow.. i just typed a HUGE long thing.. and the power went out and i lost it.
ugh ugh ugh ugh
okay well.. ill start over. this keyboard is so sticky tho.. haha itll take a while
today was amaazing...
school was normal.. i was exhausted so i got a little frusterated.. the kids just wouldnt be quiet or sit don or stop fighting... i was wondering why they are so restless.
i talked to teddy and this is amazing to me... hahahaha. so if i leave on the night of the 25th with karen then my last day of school with the kids is the 24th. guess WHAT!! that is their last day of school!! weiiirrrdd!! they have summer november and december...
hahahaha so now i can leave ealy.. feeling like i finished what i came here to do. closure.. peace... i have to put together an englsih exam for that... that should be intresting.
but how perfect is that. i made the decision to leave early last night anyways when i was praying.. i have been praying about it alot.. and i when i was reading Joshua i ran across the verse that talks about yileding your heart to God... your will to God's. i realized that 7 weeks.. was MY will.. i pushed that. alot. he set it up for 3 1/2.. and i as so stubborn and wanted more!! haha and now its back to 3 1/2 and couldnt be more perfect.
i get to do everything i want to do and soooooo much more in my time here...
i have complete peace about my decision!!
the kids will be gone anyways!! thy are throwing a huge party for the parents and the kids at the end of the year... and its just perfect! yayaya
i met one of the parents today of a kid in my class... app her daughter cant stop talking about her "new beautiful white teaher" who she loves and how she never wants to be anywhere but at school... and now her big brother wants to come back and learn english from me. awwwwwwwwww things like that make this entire trip worth while!!!
also this man that i met.. teddys brother. told me that even though i am white of skin i am african of heart!! oh i love it :)
after school today linda karen and i went to Nyamata to visit a genocide memorial.. the one with the church. we waited for like an hour for the bus... gosh people here LOVE white people... people were taking pictures of us.. hahahaha
and i taught linda how to play the brick breaker game on my phone. shes addicted!! ha
the drive to nyamata was amazing. getting out of the city... felt so refreshing and just.. awww. the city is just.. meh... the villages and country side is full of life! this truly is the country of a thousand hills! hill after hill after hill!! and i feel like i finally got to see the heart of Rwanda. the endless trees and hills. and random little huts and children playing with random things.... and so many goats.. and huge black birds.. alll kinds of trees... and skinny to the bone dogs... and huuuggeeee bulls!! it was amazing.
and then there was this HUGE valley.. full of trees and sugar cane...
and the river.. nyabogo.. or something like that.
thats the river where it was said to "be red with blood" during the genocide... because the Hutus decided to send the dead tusis home... on the river. so sad.
the ride was amazing.. and it jsut felt soo good. 40 minutes of just music and beauty and driving :)
and any children that saw me.. cause i had a window seat... got SOO excited and chased after the bus! i love kids. so much.
the memorial was beautiful on the outside... a little garden outside with stones in the shape of a heart.. and flowers making a cross inside the heart.
it was heart renchin inside tho... i couldnt take any pictures inside.
it was horrible. they still had the busted door where they busted in and then the lock they used to lock them in...
and blood was on the walls.. where they took babies and hit them against the walls like baseball bats. ugh.
but the biggest thing was the clothes. the entire place was just rows and rows of all the clothes the people that died wore. covered blood.. with bullet holes and machete tears... 10,000 people died there. and the bullet holes on the walls... and scapres from machetes. it broke my heart.
then they had this place downstairs where they had many skulls and bons of the people... and one casket. it was a pregnant woman... they killed her baby and then stuck a piece of wood through her head... to her feet.
it really just... broke me. ugh.
then there was just this cellar type place with just rows and rows of bones and skeletons and caskets... a huge massive grave.
everyone that died in Nyamata is buried there... or at least part of them is.
40,000 people killed.
blah.
i love africa. so so so much. it amazed me. that people live right next to that memorial.
that people live.. with any joy.
every single person ive talked to has lost a family member in the genocide. gosh. u cant even imagine that in america.
anyways. im tired of typing on this keyboard.
tomorrow i am off to the coffee farm.
i love it here... so much.
i thrive here.
:)
ugh ugh ugh ugh
okay well.. ill start over. this keyboard is so sticky tho.. haha itll take a while
today was amaazing...
school was normal.. i was exhausted so i got a little frusterated.. the kids just wouldnt be quiet or sit don or stop fighting... i was wondering why they are so restless.
i talked to teddy and this is amazing to me... hahahaha. so if i leave on the night of the 25th with karen then my last day of school with the kids is the 24th. guess WHAT!! that is their last day of school!! weiiirrrdd!! they have summer november and december...
hahahaha so now i can leave ealy.. feeling like i finished what i came here to do. closure.. peace... i have to put together an englsih exam for that... that should be intresting.
but how perfect is that. i made the decision to leave early last night anyways when i was praying.. i have been praying about it alot.. and i when i was reading Joshua i ran across the verse that talks about yileding your heart to God... your will to God's. i realized that 7 weeks.. was MY will.. i pushed that. alot. he set it up for 3 1/2.. and i as so stubborn and wanted more!! haha and now its back to 3 1/2 and couldnt be more perfect.
i get to do everything i want to do and soooooo much more in my time here...
i have complete peace about my decision!!
the kids will be gone anyways!! thy are throwing a huge party for the parents and the kids at the end of the year... and its just perfect! yayaya
i met one of the parents today of a kid in my class... app her daughter cant stop talking about her "new beautiful white teaher" who she loves and how she never wants to be anywhere but at school... and now her big brother wants to come back and learn english from me. awwwwwwwwww things like that make this entire trip worth while!!!
also this man that i met.. teddys brother. told me that even though i am white of skin i am african of heart!! oh i love it :)
after school today linda karen and i went to Nyamata to visit a genocide memorial.. the one with the church. we waited for like an hour for the bus... gosh people here LOVE white people... people were taking pictures of us.. hahahaha
and i taught linda how to play the brick breaker game on my phone. shes addicted!! ha
the drive to nyamata was amazing. getting out of the city... felt so refreshing and just.. awww. the city is just.. meh... the villages and country side is full of life! this truly is the country of a thousand hills! hill after hill after hill!! and i feel like i finally got to see the heart of Rwanda. the endless trees and hills. and random little huts and children playing with random things.... and so many goats.. and huge black birds.. alll kinds of trees... and skinny to the bone dogs... and huuuggeeee bulls!! it was amazing.
and then there was this HUGE valley.. full of trees and sugar cane...
and the river.. nyabogo.. or something like that.
thats the river where it was said to "be red with blood" during the genocide... because the Hutus decided to send the dead tusis home... on the river. so sad.
the ride was amazing.. and it jsut felt soo good. 40 minutes of just music and beauty and driving :)
and any children that saw me.. cause i had a window seat... got SOO excited and chased after the bus! i love kids. so much.
the memorial was beautiful on the outside... a little garden outside with stones in the shape of a heart.. and flowers making a cross inside the heart.
it was heart renchin inside tho... i couldnt take any pictures inside.
it was horrible. they still had the busted door where they busted in and then the lock they used to lock them in...
and blood was on the walls.. where they took babies and hit them against the walls like baseball bats. ugh.
but the biggest thing was the clothes. the entire place was just rows and rows of all the clothes the people that died wore. covered blood.. with bullet holes and machete tears... 10,000 people died there. and the bullet holes on the walls... and scapres from machetes. it broke my heart.
then they had this place downstairs where they had many skulls and bons of the people... and one casket. it was a pregnant woman... they killed her baby and then stuck a piece of wood through her head... to her feet.
it really just... broke me. ugh.
then there was just this cellar type place with just rows and rows of bones and skeletons and caskets... a huge massive grave.
everyone that died in Nyamata is buried there... or at least part of them is.
40,000 people killed.
blah.
i love africa. so so so much. it amazed me. that people live right next to that memorial.
that people live.. with any joy.
every single person ive talked to has lost a family member in the genocide. gosh. u cant even imagine that in america.
anyways. im tired of typing on this keyboard.
tomorrow i am off to the coffee farm.
i love it here... so much.
i thrive here.
:)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
exhaustion and excitement!!
Last night I could not sleep... even though i was sooo tired! i woke up this morning... very tired.
today was my first day traveling on the busses alone! everything went perfect...
i love it when i approach the school some of the little tiny kids all fun to me... they are so precious!!
I taught them how to write the alphabet today... and what sounds the letters made.
i feel like i am hitting a brick wall with them. i never know if they really understand me and what im teaching.. or if they just repeat what i say and copy what i write. oh i hope they are actually learning!!
i got some great pictures with the kids today :) my favorite kid is lopez! she is the cutest sweetest little thing! always quiet when she should be.. and smiling.. and she loves me :) she calms me down when i get overwhelmed.
after school I went to Nickies house... they had cooked me lunch. it was so nice... app the day before when the mom knew i was coming over she went out and bought all the best stuff to cook for me.... they said Beccas coming Beccas coming!! white people are like royalty here...
they were all so nice. i met frank.. and wilson... and jason. FINALLY some normal names i could understand!! they were so excited to have me. they kept pilling food on my plate... gosh i ate way too much! it was so good tho. rice with carrots and green beans in it... and this meat stew thing... and potatoes! oh finally potatoes! and some avacado. it was really good
figured out uganda stuff!!!! i am going next week!! yayayayaya wednesday through sunday.
im kind iffy to miss my classes... but if i want to go and make it worth it i have to! its only three days right? gosh im going to miss those kids so much!!
im so excited. nickie lives in Uganda and was telling me all about it. I will be perfectly safe.
things are nicer there... i can take a shower! rwanda has just been completely destroyed from the genocide... completely.. they are so poor. and they know it :(
nickie is going to take me sooo many places.. parks.. markets.. villages.. anywhere i want! and they speak english there! it was colonized by the british... so they speak english and take the american dollar! im so excited.
nickie wants me to come for 2 weeks.. or one week.
but i cant leave the kids... thats why i came...
still contemplating coming home early.
it makes sense in SOOOOOO many ways... sooo many ways. part of me wants to stay till like.. november 2nd tho.. idk. i still have time to think it over and pray about it.
Nickie told me today that her father was killed in the genocide... it broke my heart. her family doesnt even live in the country and he came to fight...
everyone seems to be effected by it...
everyone wants to be my friend! i love it so much :) and people on the streets.. sometimes.. are so helpful.
app i was standing where the motocycles pick people up... when iw as waiting to cross the street... haha someone came and helped me and explained not to stand there. im the naive american!
part of me feels like i could stay here for 6 more weeks. part of me longs for home!! WHAT do i listen to.... urg. im horrible with decisions!!!!!!!!!!!
they listen to alot of american music here... like Lollipop was playing at nickies house... haha i was cracking up....
i am just soooo exhausted. i dont really know where it came from. just hit me today... im sooo tired.
hmm dont have much else to say. im not homesick anymore. i always long for my mom tho...
and for america... america is sooo amazing to me now.
everyone here wants to go to university there... but with the exchange rate. that seems almost impossible!! but people have done it before!!
thats kind of it for now...
today was my first day traveling on the busses alone! everything went perfect...
i love it when i approach the school some of the little tiny kids all fun to me... they are so precious!!
I taught them how to write the alphabet today... and what sounds the letters made.
i feel like i am hitting a brick wall with them. i never know if they really understand me and what im teaching.. or if they just repeat what i say and copy what i write. oh i hope they are actually learning!!
i got some great pictures with the kids today :) my favorite kid is lopez! she is the cutest sweetest little thing! always quiet when she should be.. and smiling.. and she loves me :) she calms me down when i get overwhelmed.
after school I went to Nickies house... they had cooked me lunch. it was so nice... app the day before when the mom knew i was coming over she went out and bought all the best stuff to cook for me.... they said Beccas coming Beccas coming!! white people are like royalty here...
they were all so nice. i met frank.. and wilson... and jason. FINALLY some normal names i could understand!! they were so excited to have me. they kept pilling food on my plate... gosh i ate way too much! it was so good tho. rice with carrots and green beans in it... and this meat stew thing... and potatoes! oh finally potatoes! and some avacado. it was really good
figured out uganda stuff!!!! i am going next week!! yayayayaya wednesday through sunday.
im kind iffy to miss my classes... but if i want to go and make it worth it i have to! its only three days right? gosh im going to miss those kids so much!!
im so excited. nickie lives in Uganda and was telling me all about it. I will be perfectly safe.
things are nicer there... i can take a shower! rwanda has just been completely destroyed from the genocide... completely.. they are so poor. and they know it :(
nickie is going to take me sooo many places.. parks.. markets.. villages.. anywhere i want! and they speak english there! it was colonized by the british... so they speak english and take the american dollar! im so excited.
nickie wants me to come for 2 weeks.. or one week.
but i cant leave the kids... thats why i came...
still contemplating coming home early.
it makes sense in SOOOOOO many ways... sooo many ways. part of me wants to stay till like.. november 2nd tho.. idk. i still have time to think it over and pray about it.
Nickie told me today that her father was killed in the genocide... it broke my heart. her family doesnt even live in the country and he came to fight...
everyone seems to be effected by it...
everyone wants to be my friend! i love it so much :) and people on the streets.. sometimes.. are so helpful.
app i was standing where the motocycles pick people up... when iw as waiting to cross the street... haha someone came and helped me and explained not to stand there. im the naive american!
part of me feels like i could stay here for 6 more weeks. part of me longs for home!! WHAT do i listen to.... urg. im horrible with decisions!!!!!!!!!!!
they listen to alot of american music here... like Lollipop was playing at nickies house... haha i was cracking up....
i am just soooo exhausted. i dont really know where it came from. just hit me today... im sooo tired.
hmm dont have much else to say. im not homesick anymore. i always long for my mom tho...
and for america... america is sooo amazing to me now.
everyone here wants to go to university there... but with the exchange rate. that seems almost impossible!! but people have done it before!!
thats kind of it for now...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
milk
I think I had some bad milk today.
mleh... did you know they drink their milk hot here? my stomach doesnt like it... but yah... either way i think the milk was just... bad. kinda gross to think about.
school was fun today... went over subtraction and then i told the kids a story about Ping the duck. a girl had a yellow rain coat so i made her the duck! it was so cute.. waddeling around and quacking. the kids loved it! i think im learning how to just be ridiculous... haha and let loose... more then i do.
then some kids from the other school came to my class... and we sang :)
they got really restles today at the end... i couldnt teach them much because they wouldnt listen...
and i cant communicate. they know silence and sitdown.. but dont always listen. and i refuse to hit them... so yah... hm. its a struggle sometimes.
my heart kind of broke today... for this country.. and these people.
when i was at the school a girl who has been missing for THREE YEARS came to the preshool... teddy knew her and her mother! and we took her to a safe place. she had been sleeping at a school at night..
teddy acted like it was normal... and the girl wouldnt break a smile.. or say a word. makes me wonder what happened to her.. whats the full story?
then teddy told me about her son... he is both mute and deaf... and she smiles and laughed and it just was normal. these things are just normal everyday life for these people!! makes me wish i could do more. i know teaching english is enabling the future generation... but what about the generation running the country now!? idk... just thoughts. doesnt mean my work is any less valuable! and i dont think it.
after school teddy brought me to a place... where i drank the milk.. haha and she bought me a sausage. hm. um. its all just different here. i left almost throwing up... trying to look and act grateful. the meat is hanging outside... so it wasnt exactly appetizing.
then all of the sudden she took me to a saloon... ha and she said you are getting your hair rolled... next week. i was like..haha do i have a choice? but yes i shall... not corn rolls. they have SO many options here. it is crazy! im excited. it will be so much easier to manage.
part of me is sooo tired of being the white girl... having everyone stare at me when i walk down the street. i LOVE how the kids love me for it and yell MUZUNGU MUZUNGU! when im around with smiles and yayaayyayayas! i love that. but i get WAY too much attention from men.
not kidding.. ive got invited to SO many guys houses... it just happened again as i was writing this. he said for tea and chatting.. it could be harmles... but id rather be careful.
i try to just exchange emails and say if you want to chat... keep in touch.
most of them just say they like my friendship and to hear more about america... and they like me and think im beautiful. gotten that soo many times. ha. boosts my confidence... hahaha.
women generally smile. some men smile.. most just stare. if they speak english they are SO eager to say hello!
part of me just wants to walk down the street without all the attention...
another part of me loves it. i feel like a celebrity here... jordy would laugh at that one! ha ha
makes me feel connected instead of seperated.. but also makes me feel seperated. ha.
also.. im kind of getting sick of being touched. and you know i am a touchy person. mostly by men tho... they grab your hands and wrists and dont always let go for a while... idk... just dont like it. hmmmm. everyone wants to hold my hand. ha ha. the kids i love..
we went to another town today.. which i wont try and spell.. where the american embassy is. they dont register there anymore i guess.... and they cant give me malaria pills. ha.
the town around there is muuuuch nicer then here. paved roads and sidewalks... and huge nice hotels...still not america... but more like home.
had a huge rain storm today. it was so hot and then BOOM there it was!
it sounded really cool against the huge leaves of the trees... and the tin roofs.
hm. dont really have ALL that much to say.
i miss cold milk so much!!!!!
and pizza. mom order a pizza on the night i get home!!
oh and hot chocolate... chocolate in any form...
those are the things i miss the most. and butter... oh butter!!
:) thats all for now! i must go sponge down now. haaa
mleh... did you know they drink their milk hot here? my stomach doesnt like it... but yah... either way i think the milk was just... bad. kinda gross to think about.
school was fun today... went over subtraction and then i told the kids a story about Ping the duck. a girl had a yellow rain coat so i made her the duck! it was so cute.. waddeling around and quacking. the kids loved it! i think im learning how to just be ridiculous... haha and let loose... more then i do.
then some kids from the other school came to my class... and we sang :)
they got really restles today at the end... i couldnt teach them much because they wouldnt listen...
and i cant communicate. they know silence and sitdown.. but dont always listen. and i refuse to hit them... so yah... hm. its a struggle sometimes.
my heart kind of broke today... for this country.. and these people.
when i was at the school a girl who has been missing for THREE YEARS came to the preshool... teddy knew her and her mother! and we took her to a safe place. she had been sleeping at a school at night..
teddy acted like it was normal... and the girl wouldnt break a smile.. or say a word. makes me wonder what happened to her.. whats the full story?
then teddy told me about her son... he is both mute and deaf... and she smiles and laughed and it just was normal. these things are just normal everyday life for these people!! makes me wish i could do more. i know teaching english is enabling the future generation... but what about the generation running the country now!? idk... just thoughts. doesnt mean my work is any less valuable! and i dont think it.
after school teddy brought me to a place... where i drank the milk.. haha and she bought me a sausage. hm. um. its all just different here. i left almost throwing up... trying to look and act grateful. the meat is hanging outside... so it wasnt exactly appetizing.
then all of the sudden she took me to a saloon... ha and she said you are getting your hair rolled... next week. i was like..haha do i have a choice? but yes i shall... not corn rolls. they have SO many options here. it is crazy! im excited. it will be so much easier to manage.
part of me is sooo tired of being the white girl... having everyone stare at me when i walk down the street. i LOVE how the kids love me for it and yell MUZUNGU MUZUNGU! when im around with smiles and yayaayyayayas! i love that. but i get WAY too much attention from men.
not kidding.. ive got invited to SO many guys houses... it just happened again as i was writing this. he said for tea and chatting.. it could be harmles... but id rather be careful.
i try to just exchange emails and say if you want to chat... keep in touch.
most of them just say they like my friendship and to hear more about america... and they like me and think im beautiful. gotten that soo many times. ha. boosts my confidence... hahaha.
women generally smile. some men smile.. most just stare. if they speak english they are SO eager to say hello!
part of me just wants to walk down the street without all the attention...
another part of me loves it. i feel like a celebrity here... jordy would laugh at that one! ha ha
makes me feel connected instead of seperated.. but also makes me feel seperated. ha.
also.. im kind of getting sick of being touched. and you know i am a touchy person. mostly by men tho... they grab your hands and wrists and dont always let go for a while... idk... just dont like it. hmmmm. everyone wants to hold my hand. ha ha. the kids i love..
we went to another town today.. which i wont try and spell.. where the american embassy is. they dont register there anymore i guess.... and they cant give me malaria pills. ha.
the town around there is muuuuch nicer then here. paved roads and sidewalks... and huge nice hotels...still not america... but more like home.
had a huge rain storm today. it was so hot and then BOOM there it was!
it sounded really cool against the huge leaves of the trees... and the tin roofs.
hm. dont really have ALL that much to say.
i miss cold milk so much!!!!!
and pizza. mom order a pizza on the night i get home!!
oh and hot chocolate... chocolate in any form...
those are the things i miss the most. and butter... oh butter!!
:) thats all for now! i must go sponge down now. haaa
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Day 2
Last night the power was out all night... which was intresting.. eating dinner in the pitch dark. ha. and kinda fun and exciting in a weird way. i was doing so great yesterday... but the night seems to bring the thoughts of home... and the lonely feelings start coming. i couldnt sleep... and the thought of being here for 7 more weeks seemed... unbareable. i only have about... 24 more days of malaria pills... and it sounds like it will cost ALOT of money for me to get any more from the states... meaning i would have to leave at the end of october. which honestly.. im really alright with. maybe i was pushing this too far... karen said she tried to stay for that long once and she just went crazy from the medication and the culture.. and being so alone. it doesnt sound that long... but here... its soo soo long. esp for me... you know me. back at home im working or doing SOMETHING constantly.. here its not like that. it might pick up tho as some oppertunities came knocking today.
i tried to sleep at about 9pm last night.. but i couldnt. i laid in bed until about 12 before i slept. and i called my mom at about 10:30. i think i might come home early for sure. just because it seems to make sense in alot of ways. and i prayed alot yesterday... just wanting to please God. and i think he was telling me that i already have learned so much of what he wanted me to learn on this trip. to soley depend on him and him alone for my comfort... and my satisfaction. and also... i began to realize AGAIN that i am such a people pleaser!! if i feel like i am ready to come home at the end of 4 weeks... then i should. i shouldnt think of how someone might think i gave up or anything! i asked myself the question... would you put yourself through that much pain just because it sounds better. idk. nothing a set deal. i think if i need more malaria pills i can go to the american embassy here in rwanda... but im not sure. ill go next week and double check.
anyways. i think this trip has already stretched me sooo much. ive learned that i can do more then i imagined i could ever do! and i feel comfortable and bold now... i feel like i can manage the bus system alone... and walk the streets without the fear.. of who knows what!! i feel more independent... but also... ive realized how much i need and love my mother!!
anyways... ill wait out the next week and a half ish before i make any decisions.
this morning i woke up at 6 and washed my feet and hair... it takes too long to wash my whole body in the morning before i go to the preschool. regular morning.. i felt more hopeful then the night before for sure tho... alot better. its always when i cant sleep.. or when im sitting around that i just fall apart!!
got to the school and the kids were doing the usual dancing and songs! this time i got to join in and dance with them tho! it was fun :) they all copy me... so they are all dancing. haha. and the teachers whipped out the jump rope i brougth for the kids and started jumping.. the kids loooved that so much.
in my class i reviewed body parts and started into colors.. they didnt know ANY colors... we did a few different excercises. i think im getting the hold of this whole teaching thing!! then we moved into recognizing numbers. which was fun.
the ONE thing i dont like about the school is how they do discipline. if they mess up... there isnt encouragement... and if something happeneds where someone is out of line... they hit them. not like super hard... but yah. if it gets out of hand and i cant handle it because i cant communicate with them... then this woman who speaks only kinyarwanda.. not a word of english or french comes in and screams and taps them with this stick. scares the crap out of me... poor kids!!
during the break i got attacked by kids! they ALL want to hold my hand... so i have a swarm of at least 30 kids reaching out and holding onto me... its kinda fun ha. i taught them how to hive five and pound it and explode... its the cutest thing i have ever seen!!! some called me sister... some called me mother maza.. or something like that. but there is this one little orphange boy... barley any teeth and probably hasnt showered or washed his clothes.. in months. same one who grabbed my hand yesterday. he breaks my heart!! he clings to me... and claims me kinda.. never lets go... sigh.
i also got to know some of my fellow teachers more! they are soo nice. this GORGEOUS rwandan teacher who loves the Lord SO much... began to ask me about if i was single... and if i would ever date a rwandan man.. and my age... and all that. haha gorgeous.. black.. god loving man.. who teaches children.. and speaks decent english.. who asks legit questions about my family and my life.. who wants to come live in america... who respectfully compliments me... haha i wish.
the teachers and i took out my camera and began taking pictures.. something i didnt really know if i was allowed to do.. haha and the teachers and kids LOVED it... so much :)
gave the kids math problems for homework... and then the school day was over.
teddy the woman who runs the school was going to escort me back to the house... because she is good friends with the people i am staying with. and we stopped by her sister and daughters house... more run down then where i am staying... but adorable kids.. and her daughter speaks english really well!! she just graduated from a university in Uganda... majoring in accounting. it felt so good to talk to someone closer to my age who understood me!! and asked questions... and made me feel welcome and loved! they gave me food! and they invited me back to their house tomorrow for lunch!! good lunch.. real lunch! yay!! im so excited.
we exchanged phone numbers.. and it feels so good to have a friend.
but the best best best best best part of that whoel thing... is that she invited me to come with her to Uganda on thursday!! oh my word... dream come true. says its super easy to cross the border... and she has a car that she could drive me in... less expensive. and she would take me to see the country.. and a beach.. and towns... and its UGANDA... the place i want to go mroe then anywhere!! oh that gave me hope :) and it would be for a couple of days. i need my moms permission.. ill call her later. oh please say yes! that would be amazing
we also talked about america alot.. and looked at my pictures from america.
its so funny. they laughed and laughed thinkingmy mom was thirty and that my dad was 60.. haha i love you dad. they thought i looked alot different... which i prob do.
also they LOVE obama here... for several reasons i think. and they all want to be white! they all are jealous of my white skin.. saying its beautiful. and i feel the same towards them! just shows we need to be more content with who we are and what we have... everyone. we can always think of ways to improve ourselves... in our own eyes at least.
walking back to the bus teddy took me through this open market type place... where i met her other sister.. and she bought me beautiful fabric for maria to make me a dress or something! i was so overwhelmed. i had toget up on this platform and look at all these fabrics... i was surrounded by faborics of all colors.. and below me were rwandan woman sewing. it was a really really fun thing :)
i also found green coffee beans for robbie!!! havent bought them.. but now i know where to go to get them.
hmmm... it was really hot today.
found out i DONT have to wear all long shirts and pants... lame! i was told only long shirts and pants. ha... man! oh well.
anyways.. back at the house i found karen... who had had her own adventure today... it was the sweetest thign! she knows im struggling.. and her and linda went and searched the streets until they found Youth with a Mission... like 5-6 miles away! which is an organization i can hook up with in the afternoons when i want... andh ave nothing else to do... and do work with both americans.. my age.. adn rwandans. work with children... adults... orphanges... and people who are suffering from HIV and AIDS. thats exciting to me!
i also have kind of connected with a soccer club here... might bring some balls and play with the kids!! its near the preschool... and karen wants to take me to the mother teresa orphanage.. where i would just play with kids... who have no one... and barley anyone goes and helps there. oh that sounds like my kind of thing.
OH today at the end of class... the teacher who i was telling you about came in and had the kids say a prayer before i left... it was precious!
so things are looking up. i can come home whenever i want... and since today i have many more options. i know alot of peopel are praying for me... and emailing me. thank you!! its helping me more then you know
i remember telling everyone in america that i would miss them for the first week.. and then prob forget and get so wrapped up. i think i forget im still in the first week of this... feelsl ike the 3rd weeks or something. so maybe in the coming days... i wont even want to leave...
but id rather leave here earlier then i wanted...then drag it out and not enjoy it. because that means im leaving excited and happy with what i was doing... rather then just staying and doing it to do it... theres a medium to that to.
learned more kinyarwanda today!! its such a difficult language... haha that will take forever.
hm. thats it.
OH i cant put up pictures because im in an internet cafe... dont have the pictures on the computer.. and the oens from my phone.. cant get on the internet because.. i dont have it. ha. hm.
thats it :)
i tried to sleep at about 9pm last night.. but i couldnt. i laid in bed until about 12 before i slept. and i called my mom at about 10:30. i think i might come home early for sure. just because it seems to make sense in alot of ways. and i prayed alot yesterday... just wanting to please God. and i think he was telling me that i already have learned so much of what he wanted me to learn on this trip. to soley depend on him and him alone for my comfort... and my satisfaction. and also... i began to realize AGAIN that i am such a people pleaser!! if i feel like i am ready to come home at the end of 4 weeks... then i should. i shouldnt think of how someone might think i gave up or anything! i asked myself the question... would you put yourself through that much pain just because it sounds better. idk. nothing a set deal. i think if i need more malaria pills i can go to the american embassy here in rwanda... but im not sure. ill go next week and double check.
anyways. i think this trip has already stretched me sooo much. ive learned that i can do more then i imagined i could ever do! and i feel comfortable and bold now... i feel like i can manage the bus system alone... and walk the streets without the fear.. of who knows what!! i feel more independent... but also... ive realized how much i need and love my mother!!
anyways... ill wait out the next week and a half ish before i make any decisions.
this morning i woke up at 6 and washed my feet and hair... it takes too long to wash my whole body in the morning before i go to the preschool. regular morning.. i felt more hopeful then the night before for sure tho... alot better. its always when i cant sleep.. or when im sitting around that i just fall apart!!
got to the school and the kids were doing the usual dancing and songs! this time i got to join in and dance with them tho! it was fun :) they all copy me... so they are all dancing. haha. and the teachers whipped out the jump rope i brougth for the kids and started jumping.. the kids loooved that so much.
in my class i reviewed body parts and started into colors.. they didnt know ANY colors... we did a few different excercises. i think im getting the hold of this whole teaching thing!! then we moved into recognizing numbers. which was fun.
the ONE thing i dont like about the school is how they do discipline. if they mess up... there isnt encouragement... and if something happeneds where someone is out of line... they hit them. not like super hard... but yah. if it gets out of hand and i cant handle it because i cant communicate with them... then this woman who speaks only kinyarwanda.. not a word of english or french comes in and screams and taps them with this stick. scares the crap out of me... poor kids!!
during the break i got attacked by kids! they ALL want to hold my hand... so i have a swarm of at least 30 kids reaching out and holding onto me... its kinda fun ha. i taught them how to hive five and pound it and explode... its the cutest thing i have ever seen!!! some called me sister... some called me mother maza.. or something like that. but there is this one little orphange boy... barley any teeth and probably hasnt showered or washed his clothes.. in months. same one who grabbed my hand yesterday. he breaks my heart!! he clings to me... and claims me kinda.. never lets go... sigh.
i also got to know some of my fellow teachers more! they are soo nice. this GORGEOUS rwandan teacher who loves the Lord SO much... began to ask me about if i was single... and if i would ever date a rwandan man.. and my age... and all that. haha gorgeous.. black.. god loving man.. who teaches children.. and speaks decent english.. who asks legit questions about my family and my life.. who wants to come live in america... who respectfully compliments me... haha i wish.
the teachers and i took out my camera and began taking pictures.. something i didnt really know if i was allowed to do.. haha and the teachers and kids LOVED it... so much :)
gave the kids math problems for homework... and then the school day was over.
teddy the woman who runs the school was going to escort me back to the house... because she is good friends with the people i am staying with. and we stopped by her sister and daughters house... more run down then where i am staying... but adorable kids.. and her daughter speaks english really well!! she just graduated from a university in Uganda... majoring in accounting. it felt so good to talk to someone closer to my age who understood me!! and asked questions... and made me feel welcome and loved! they gave me food! and they invited me back to their house tomorrow for lunch!! good lunch.. real lunch! yay!! im so excited.
we exchanged phone numbers.. and it feels so good to have a friend.
but the best best best best best part of that whoel thing... is that she invited me to come with her to Uganda on thursday!! oh my word... dream come true. says its super easy to cross the border... and she has a car that she could drive me in... less expensive. and she would take me to see the country.. and a beach.. and towns... and its UGANDA... the place i want to go mroe then anywhere!! oh that gave me hope :) and it would be for a couple of days. i need my moms permission.. ill call her later. oh please say yes! that would be amazing
we also talked about america alot.. and looked at my pictures from america.
its so funny. they laughed and laughed thinkingmy mom was thirty and that my dad was 60.. haha i love you dad. they thought i looked alot different... which i prob do.
also they LOVE obama here... for several reasons i think. and they all want to be white! they all are jealous of my white skin.. saying its beautiful. and i feel the same towards them! just shows we need to be more content with who we are and what we have... everyone. we can always think of ways to improve ourselves... in our own eyes at least.
walking back to the bus teddy took me through this open market type place... where i met her other sister.. and she bought me beautiful fabric for maria to make me a dress or something! i was so overwhelmed. i had toget up on this platform and look at all these fabrics... i was surrounded by faborics of all colors.. and below me were rwandan woman sewing. it was a really really fun thing :)
i also found green coffee beans for robbie!!! havent bought them.. but now i know where to go to get them.
hmmm... it was really hot today.
found out i DONT have to wear all long shirts and pants... lame! i was told only long shirts and pants. ha... man! oh well.
anyways.. back at the house i found karen... who had had her own adventure today... it was the sweetest thign! she knows im struggling.. and her and linda went and searched the streets until they found Youth with a Mission... like 5-6 miles away! which is an organization i can hook up with in the afternoons when i want... andh ave nothing else to do... and do work with both americans.. my age.. adn rwandans. work with children... adults... orphanges... and people who are suffering from HIV and AIDS. thats exciting to me!
i also have kind of connected with a soccer club here... might bring some balls and play with the kids!! its near the preschool... and karen wants to take me to the mother teresa orphanage.. where i would just play with kids... who have no one... and barley anyone goes and helps there. oh that sounds like my kind of thing.
OH today at the end of class... the teacher who i was telling you about came in and had the kids say a prayer before i left... it was precious!
so things are looking up. i can come home whenever i want... and since today i have many more options. i know alot of peopel are praying for me... and emailing me. thank you!! its helping me more then you know
i remember telling everyone in america that i would miss them for the first week.. and then prob forget and get so wrapped up. i think i forget im still in the first week of this... feelsl ike the 3rd weeks or something. so maybe in the coming days... i wont even want to leave...
but id rather leave here earlier then i wanted...then drag it out and not enjoy it. because that means im leaving excited and happy with what i was doing... rather then just staying and doing it to do it... theres a medium to that to.
learned more kinyarwanda today!! its such a difficult language... haha that will take forever.
hm. thats it.
OH i cant put up pictures because im in an internet cafe... dont have the pictures on the computer.. and the oens from my phone.. cant get on the internet because.. i dont have it. ha. hm.
thats it :)
Monday, October 6, 2008
My First Real Day
SOO much has happened since I wrote less then 24 hours ago!!
i went back to the room and talked to my mom.. and karen.. and just kinda... cried... but it was good. I read romans 8... my favorite part of the bible! And i prayed... especially against this fear that was gripping my heart.. and I prayed that i could trust.
After a while Karen came into my room to tell me she was taking me out for goat brochets!! something i have definitly never eaten before. jesse karen and i walked just down the street to this cute little..what they call bar.. but its not the same thing as in america. and the goat brochets were amazing! smoked goat on a stick with onions.. and it was spicey. oh everyone knows i LOVE spicey food. and each one was like... 50 cents. i love that about it here... everythings so cheap for me!
jesse sat with us for about an hour.. he told us alot about the state of the government. it seems like rwanda is doing so well.. but there is so much oppression here. of the press... especially. no free journalism at all. and the government hates people talking about the genocide.. or acting as if there are two seperate tribes.. as if they are just rwandans... seems like they are trying to erase their culture and history.. or just keep it safer i guess. but people voted in the last election mostly out of fear... and they just passes a law... something about refering to genocide... its a very brawd law.. and could be used to take advantage of people soo easly.
jesse answered alot of our questions tho... but it was weird. because before we left.. and i was in my room praying I just felt a sudden peace... and it wasnt the feeling of warm real food in my stomach.. or company that made me feel alright... i know it wasnt.
it was a cloudy night so we couldnt see the starts. man i want to see the stars!! ha
the rest of the night I was pretty good actually. just looking forward to the morning when i would go and met my kids. when i returned to the house i had a bunch of new texts and missed calls. all encouraging.. and all from people in my church. no idea that my mom had decided to go to VCA that morning and she shared how i was feeling... and my congregation prayed for me :) i did the math and it was right about when the peace started to settle. hmmmm
talked to my mom on the phone.. cried smiled... it was good. she said she felt my presence in vca... like I was hugging her. I think God was hugging both of us too :)
abbey called me at about 9:30 because she wanted an update. oh it felt so good to talk to her... she knows me so well... her and i are so much alike with our emotions.... i was just so good to get things off my chest.
i slept until about 12. i actually woke up at exactly 12. i started praying against a downcast spirit and against lonelyness right away.. i knew that it seems to come so easily at night. first night i havent called my mom in tears! yay... not that i dont want ot talk to my mom!! i want to.. but i cant depend on that connection.
now to today!! woke up got ready... eat breakfast! EGGS oh yum we had eggs! i dont mind the food.. or the living conditions at all. thats not what makes me lonely or what causes me to struggle. its simply just missing my mom... and my dad. anyways... maria and i walked down to the bus stop.. the far one to catch the bus to the preschool. its less then a dollar a day for me to travel about 20 minutes there and back... thats awesome isnt it!? i was prepared for 4 dollars a day..that definitly puts some money back in my pocket! catching the bus was crazy! we went to this little market place.. swarming with people. and or course im the white girl who people like to stare at. i have not seen one white person outside of karen me and jesse. its so weird... ha but i kinda love it... had to shove my way onto a bus.. but this time it was an actually bus! not just a van. which was nice.. gave me some more room and space to myself.
we rode to kichikara where the preschool is and got off there. when you want off you just rap your knuckles against the window.. and somehow theyhear you above the radio and the noise.
there were hundreds of men dressed in pink from head to toe working on a brick wall.. maria said they were prisioners.
we walked about 4-5 minutes on a backroad before we reached the preschool! oh my word... i got there and there were 300 beautiful little faces! all dressed in uniform.. red and white checkered shirts with a blue dress.. or dress pants. and little ties for the boys. all lined up by age group. they were precious! the second i walked through that gate i fell in love! and they all started saying "white girl white girl" in kinyarwanda. ha they sure do love white people here. they sang and danced and jumped up and down all in unison... and they sang ME a welcome song... my heart felt so warm!! then teddy (the woman who runs the preschool) asked me to teach them a song. one of those moments where i was completely afraid for some reason. i didnt know what english they knew.. what they would like. HOW to teach 300 kids one song all at once. I decided on Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes. Oh they caught on so fast and they all did it so well! it was adorable... gave me a litlte bit more confidence. Teddy showed me around the place.. and took me into her office. i gave her the school supplies i had brought her for the day.. ill take them slowly there. she loved them all! made me feel like I could actually do something for them.
At the school they have kidsfrom 2-6 years old. 6 year olds were in primary 1... which was important because everything they learn there contributes to their future in a huge way.. and guess what. thats where they put me! all alone... to teach them!! i have about 40 kids im guessing. in this little shack/hut thing with desks and a white board.
Today i taught them body parts. just kind started pointing at places on my body.. started with my hair. all the way down to my feet. OH they were sooo eager to learn!! they knew some of the simple ones already like hair and mouth and eyes... when they wanted to guess they would snap their fingers and raise their hands high.. kind of shocked me at first. i kind of made a fool out of myself but it was fun... they are young :) after a while i started feeling desperate.. they were getting restless and i had no idea what to do! teddy came in and helped me draw a large picture of a person on the board and i labeled it and had them copy it down.. and then corrected and doublechecked their work. i think one of the boys in my class is dislexic.. all of his words were backwards.. or non sensical. my heart broke a little.. not knowing exactly how to handle it or how to help him.
all of the sudden teddy came in and told me its time for lesson number 2... i was thinking what! haha what am i suppose to teach them now? she said MATH, i was like oh my word God you definitly gotta help me with this one!! how am i suppose to teach math to these kids. i dont speak their language.. and i came prepared to just teach english. hahahaha.
she gave me a book and i wrote subtraction problems on the board. something they already had a litlte bit of a grasp of. they came and showed me when they were done. some of them were brillant getting every problem right.. others added sometimes.. and some thought 8-4 was 83. i did my best to explain their mistakes to them... using dashes.. and then taking them away. i hope i did a good job!
finally play time came and teddy took me to her office were i met this absolutley GORGEOUS rwandan woman. they are all gorgeous tho... their skin is amazing. i just want to touch it! ha so soft. she was dissapointed in my french... :( but oh well. she said ill help her with her english and she will help me with my french. she wanted me to come help her at her school on wednesday. sure why not! God doesnt open doors for no reason!
they gave me a fanta and some tasty crackers... the little kids kept peeping into her office and saying things... apparently they wanted me to come play!! aww isnt that so cute. they loved me just because i was white. they respected me... because i am white. hm. i have mixed feelings about that. But im so excited that they love me. they kept trying to grab my hand and teddy would tell me no. i thought i must be to teach them respect.. or something cultural... but she just didnt want them to bug me!! we cleared that up... and i let me take my hand.. they wanted to greet me. soon enough i was surrounded by a swarm of smiling adorable kids. one was very dirty.. with almost no teeth. teddy said he is an orphange. he held my hand and brought it to his face and clung to it. gosh i wanted to cry and hug him... but then i know EVERY kid would attack me! haha... and play time was up. back to the class room with like 3 kids on each of my hands.
i felt satisfied... it was a beautiful day. so sunny and warm... and these kids just amazed me.
went back to the class room and corrected more math before eliya... thats his name actually. not elsa. came ot pick me up.
we decided i would have help getting there and back this week.. but next week i must take the bus alone. scared the crap out of me... i dont like that idea... now im okay with it. for some reason this afternoon god has just filled me with a boldness.... i was afraid to walk down the street alone.. and all of the sudden i just walked out of the neighborhood and down like... 30 seconds to the cyber cafe.. i think i feel safe here... finally. i think i could get around... i hope so!!
anyways. it was soo hot.. and i was tired. they invited me to go to the community center with them.. but i was so tired i had to say no. i will go and help teach english there on saturday... or at least tag along and help if the oppertunity presents itself.
i ate lunch.. which was spaghetti!! or everyone knows how i always crave that when i leave the country! no sauce but i dont care.. and rice and cabbage. it was a very good lunch.
then i sat in this chair outside my room and journaled and enjoyed the sun.. before i knew it it was 3.. time wasnt moving as slow as before. and i was enjoying myself! yaaaaah.
i was going to do some laundry... but the clothes lines were full.
now im here in this cafe... ran into jesse.
i have to prepare my lesson for tomorrow. i think i will teach them how to sing "if your happy and you know it" and ill make a poster of the body parts today.. and play simon says with them in class maybe. that would be fun :)
my times almost up. it goes by so fast
OHH eliya says he might get a roater!! so ill have internet at the house. id be thrilled!!!!
time to go!!
thanks for all the emails and comments :) they make me happy
i went back to the room and talked to my mom.. and karen.. and just kinda... cried... but it was good. I read romans 8... my favorite part of the bible! And i prayed... especially against this fear that was gripping my heart.. and I prayed that i could trust.
After a while Karen came into my room to tell me she was taking me out for goat brochets!! something i have definitly never eaten before. jesse karen and i walked just down the street to this cute little..what they call bar.. but its not the same thing as in america. and the goat brochets were amazing! smoked goat on a stick with onions.. and it was spicey. oh everyone knows i LOVE spicey food. and each one was like... 50 cents. i love that about it here... everythings so cheap for me!
jesse sat with us for about an hour.. he told us alot about the state of the government. it seems like rwanda is doing so well.. but there is so much oppression here. of the press... especially. no free journalism at all. and the government hates people talking about the genocide.. or acting as if there are two seperate tribes.. as if they are just rwandans... seems like they are trying to erase their culture and history.. or just keep it safer i guess. but people voted in the last election mostly out of fear... and they just passes a law... something about refering to genocide... its a very brawd law.. and could be used to take advantage of people soo easly.
jesse answered alot of our questions tho... but it was weird. because before we left.. and i was in my room praying I just felt a sudden peace... and it wasnt the feeling of warm real food in my stomach.. or company that made me feel alright... i know it wasnt.
it was a cloudy night so we couldnt see the starts. man i want to see the stars!! ha
the rest of the night I was pretty good actually. just looking forward to the morning when i would go and met my kids. when i returned to the house i had a bunch of new texts and missed calls. all encouraging.. and all from people in my church. no idea that my mom had decided to go to VCA that morning and she shared how i was feeling... and my congregation prayed for me :) i did the math and it was right about when the peace started to settle. hmmmm
talked to my mom on the phone.. cried smiled... it was good. she said she felt my presence in vca... like I was hugging her. I think God was hugging both of us too :)
abbey called me at about 9:30 because she wanted an update. oh it felt so good to talk to her... she knows me so well... her and i are so much alike with our emotions.... i was just so good to get things off my chest.
i slept until about 12. i actually woke up at exactly 12. i started praying against a downcast spirit and against lonelyness right away.. i knew that it seems to come so easily at night. first night i havent called my mom in tears! yay... not that i dont want ot talk to my mom!! i want to.. but i cant depend on that connection.
now to today!! woke up got ready... eat breakfast! EGGS oh yum we had eggs! i dont mind the food.. or the living conditions at all. thats not what makes me lonely or what causes me to struggle. its simply just missing my mom... and my dad. anyways... maria and i walked down to the bus stop.. the far one to catch the bus to the preschool. its less then a dollar a day for me to travel about 20 minutes there and back... thats awesome isnt it!? i was prepared for 4 dollars a day..that definitly puts some money back in my pocket! catching the bus was crazy! we went to this little market place.. swarming with people. and or course im the white girl who people like to stare at. i have not seen one white person outside of karen me and jesse. its so weird... ha but i kinda love it... had to shove my way onto a bus.. but this time it was an actually bus! not just a van. which was nice.. gave me some more room and space to myself.
we rode to kichikara where the preschool is and got off there. when you want off you just rap your knuckles against the window.. and somehow theyhear you above the radio and the noise.
there were hundreds of men dressed in pink from head to toe working on a brick wall.. maria said they were prisioners.
we walked about 4-5 minutes on a backroad before we reached the preschool! oh my word... i got there and there were 300 beautiful little faces! all dressed in uniform.. red and white checkered shirts with a blue dress.. or dress pants. and little ties for the boys. all lined up by age group. they were precious! the second i walked through that gate i fell in love! and they all started saying "white girl white girl" in kinyarwanda. ha they sure do love white people here. they sang and danced and jumped up and down all in unison... and they sang ME a welcome song... my heart felt so warm!! then teddy (the woman who runs the preschool) asked me to teach them a song. one of those moments where i was completely afraid for some reason. i didnt know what english they knew.. what they would like. HOW to teach 300 kids one song all at once. I decided on Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes. Oh they caught on so fast and they all did it so well! it was adorable... gave me a litlte bit more confidence. Teddy showed me around the place.. and took me into her office. i gave her the school supplies i had brought her for the day.. ill take them slowly there. she loved them all! made me feel like I could actually do something for them.
At the school they have kidsfrom 2-6 years old. 6 year olds were in primary 1... which was important because everything they learn there contributes to their future in a huge way.. and guess what. thats where they put me! all alone... to teach them!! i have about 40 kids im guessing. in this little shack/hut thing with desks and a white board.
Today i taught them body parts. just kind started pointing at places on my body.. started with my hair. all the way down to my feet. OH they were sooo eager to learn!! they knew some of the simple ones already like hair and mouth and eyes... when they wanted to guess they would snap their fingers and raise their hands high.. kind of shocked me at first. i kind of made a fool out of myself but it was fun... they are young :) after a while i started feeling desperate.. they were getting restless and i had no idea what to do! teddy came in and helped me draw a large picture of a person on the board and i labeled it and had them copy it down.. and then corrected and doublechecked their work. i think one of the boys in my class is dislexic.. all of his words were backwards.. or non sensical. my heart broke a little.. not knowing exactly how to handle it or how to help him.
all of the sudden teddy came in and told me its time for lesson number 2... i was thinking what! haha what am i suppose to teach them now? she said MATH, i was like oh my word God you definitly gotta help me with this one!! how am i suppose to teach math to these kids. i dont speak their language.. and i came prepared to just teach english. hahahaha.
she gave me a book and i wrote subtraction problems on the board. something they already had a litlte bit of a grasp of. they came and showed me when they were done. some of them were brillant getting every problem right.. others added sometimes.. and some thought 8-4 was 83. i did my best to explain their mistakes to them... using dashes.. and then taking them away. i hope i did a good job!
finally play time came and teddy took me to her office were i met this absolutley GORGEOUS rwandan woman. they are all gorgeous tho... their skin is amazing. i just want to touch it! ha so soft. she was dissapointed in my french... :( but oh well. she said ill help her with her english and she will help me with my french. she wanted me to come help her at her school on wednesday. sure why not! God doesnt open doors for no reason!
they gave me a fanta and some tasty crackers... the little kids kept peeping into her office and saying things... apparently they wanted me to come play!! aww isnt that so cute. they loved me just because i was white. they respected me... because i am white. hm. i have mixed feelings about that. But im so excited that they love me. they kept trying to grab my hand and teddy would tell me no. i thought i must be to teach them respect.. or something cultural... but she just didnt want them to bug me!! we cleared that up... and i let me take my hand.. they wanted to greet me. soon enough i was surrounded by a swarm of smiling adorable kids. one was very dirty.. with almost no teeth. teddy said he is an orphange. he held my hand and brought it to his face and clung to it. gosh i wanted to cry and hug him... but then i know EVERY kid would attack me! haha... and play time was up. back to the class room with like 3 kids on each of my hands.
i felt satisfied... it was a beautiful day. so sunny and warm... and these kids just amazed me.
went back to the class room and corrected more math before eliya... thats his name actually. not elsa. came ot pick me up.
we decided i would have help getting there and back this week.. but next week i must take the bus alone. scared the crap out of me... i dont like that idea... now im okay with it. for some reason this afternoon god has just filled me with a boldness.... i was afraid to walk down the street alone.. and all of the sudden i just walked out of the neighborhood and down like... 30 seconds to the cyber cafe.. i think i feel safe here... finally. i think i could get around... i hope so!!
anyways. it was soo hot.. and i was tired. they invited me to go to the community center with them.. but i was so tired i had to say no. i will go and help teach english there on saturday... or at least tag along and help if the oppertunity presents itself.
i ate lunch.. which was spaghetti!! or everyone knows how i always crave that when i leave the country! no sauce but i dont care.. and rice and cabbage. it was a very good lunch.
then i sat in this chair outside my room and journaled and enjoyed the sun.. before i knew it it was 3.. time wasnt moving as slow as before. and i was enjoying myself! yaaaaah.
i was going to do some laundry... but the clothes lines were full.
now im here in this cafe... ran into jesse.
i have to prepare my lesson for tomorrow. i think i will teach them how to sing "if your happy and you know it" and ill make a poster of the body parts today.. and play simon says with them in class maybe. that would be fun :)
my times almost up. it goes by so fast
OHH eliya says he might get a roater!! so ill have internet at the house. id be thrilled!!!!
time to go!!
thanks for all the emails and comments :) they make me happy
Sunday, October 5, 2008
rwanda!!
I am finally here
I got here yesterday actually. just to fine that I have no way to access the internet beyond an inernet cafe. sigh! so that is where iam right now... ha.
my flight was long but good... i thought i lost my passport and was going insane... i found it in this weird pocket in my bag that i didnt even know exsisted!
couldnt really believe it when i was flying over egypt and rwanda! it was a dream come true. i got off the plane outside.. and it smelled amazing... it was dark and there were trees everywhere. and it was warm :) it is weird to think this was last night. ha
took forever to get through customs and get our bags. but we did!
this man names elisa (pron: il-sa) picked karen and i up. he embraced us with a huge smile and hug. haha we put out stuff in his car and he had this huuuuggee giraffe hanging from his rear view mirror. ha i love it.
we drove through the town... wow.. people are crazy drivers here.. i couldnt see much but i could see a million lights on the hill side and it was gorgeous. soo much to soak in!!!
we got to our house and we met maria and linda ...elisa sister and mom. and they showed us to where we would be sleeping.. i have this simple cute little room. hard floors. a dresser type thing and a bed... and awindow with bars on it. ha way to make me feel safe.
maria told me that this is now my home and that she is my mother. when i told my real mom that she said tell her i love her! it doesnt feel like home though... at all. i have been completely lonley and just homesick to a point where i can feel it. all ive really done is cry... i cant hold the tears back. just feels like ill be here forever. feels like ive been here forever and i got here last night!! all i can think about is home.. and i know its weird. this is my DREAM right?? isnt it?
7 weeks just seems like forever now that i am here... 3 weeks seems like forever.
i love it here and i love the people but all i want in my mom. it kind of scares the crap out of me the idea of me being here ... all the way over here... bwa
anways we had dinner which was a stew type thing... white rice and green beans. yay no brown beans for becca!!
i met jesse hawkes from RAP-SIDA as well and he is comtemplatnig my work with him.
i went to bed and i woke up at about 1am.. thinking it was 6am. ha.
it was soo loud there! there was a celebration going on in the streets or something for HOURS. for hours people chanted... and danced and drummed. it was beautiful and amazing.. and scary as heck.
i called me mom because i knew it was only about 5pm her time and i missed her soo much. i just dont know how i can do this.. i dont know why i am so downcast. im here right... finally? is this SO different then i expected? yah i guess so... maybe its my malaria pills... maybe its culture shock... maybe im not ready for this. blah!!! my heart hurts. crap my eyes are tearing up and im in public.. stop stop stop.
anyways. woke up this morning and took a sponge bath. yes that is what i will do. its not really a bath. its just a tiny little thing of medium sized water that we can barley stand in... a sponge and a cup to pour the water over your head. wow i even would appreciate a normal shower. i dont think ill be doing much complaining once im home. im sooooo blessed. i now this even more now then when i was in mexico. conditions here are so much worse.
im lucky... because i can leave. these people live here. and only a small amount of them will ever leave this country :(
anyways.. got ready and eat breakfast. which everyday shall be some bread and some peanut butter... and a banana. actually on sundays that is what i have for every meal of the day... because they dont cook at the house on sundays. so today. bread and peanutbutter for me...
oh by the way. fresh fresh banana's are soo much better!!
then elisa picked up linda and i for church... um finally got to see the city in the day light! its so beautiful.. in all its... hmm.. i dont even know the word.
church was soo awesome. God was there in such a rich way. there was about...500 people maybe. and i was the only white one!! hahahahaha. everyone danced during worship.. at least a little. and of course i know not a single word. it was just a HUGE group of peopel passionate for God! then i met this girl anna who came and sat next to me and translated the sermon for me. it was all about Gods promises and how he will fufill them... no matter what.
we took the buss back to remera after the sermon. weirdest thing... this guy made me hold his hand and he kept telling me he loved me. everyone said to just say it back. but i didnt. i was so confused... and kinda scared actually.
anyways. made it back and then sat aroudn for hours. which just kinda made the depression and lonelyness sink back in. i called abbey... forgetting it was like 2am for her. she didnt pick up.
finally finally finally around 2:30 the woman i am working with at the preschool came over. apparently she didnt even know until yesterday that i was coming... haha thanks for telling her glenn.
anyways. we talked. i have my kids from 8-12. no clue what to do with them for 4 hours.. how to teach them. no idea. sigh. just kinda made me cry again because i feel so helpless... and just.. useless. ugh. might be going to another school after 12 tomorrow to do some other work. but i have no idea what to do. sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh. Lord help me.
anyways. karen and i walked downtown to exchange my money for franks... found out that i have misplaced 200 dollars of my spending money. awesome right? now i have like 25 bucks for spending for the next... 7 weeks. besides transportation food and housing. i have all that covered.
now im sitting in the cafe.
feeling kinda... hopeless. i should be sooo much happier to be here right? but all i can think about is home. but then all i can think about is disapointing people... my church. everyone that supported me with money... my friends. myself. God.
ugh. anyways i should go....
ill get over it as soon as my work starts i am sure.
I got here yesterday actually. just to fine that I have no way to access the internet beyond an inernet cafe. sigh! so that is where iam right now... ha.
my flight was long but good... i thought i lost my passport and was going insane... i found it in this weird pocket in my bag that i didnt even know exsisted!
couldnt really believe it when i was flying over egypt and rwanda! it was a dream come true. i got off the plane outside.. and it smelled amazing... it was dark and there were trees everywhere. and it was warm :) it is weird to think this was last night. ha
took forever to get through customs and get our bags. but we did!
this man names elisa (pron: il-sa) picked karen and i up. he embraced us with a huge smile and hug. haha we put out stuff in his car and he had this huuuuggee giraffe hanging from his rear view mirror. ha i love it.
we drove through the town... wow.. people are crazy drivers here.. i couldnt see much but i could see a million lights on the hill side and it was gorgeous. soo much to soak in!!!
we got to our house and we met maria and linda ...elisa sister and mom. and they showed us to where we would be sleeping.. i have this simple cute little room. hard floors. a dresser type thing and a bed... and awindow with bars on it. ha way to make me feel safe.
maria told me that this is now my home and that she is my mother. when i told my real mom that she said tell her i love her! it doesnt feel like home though... at all. i have been completely lonley and just homesick to a point where i can feel it. all ive really done is cry... i cant hold the tears back. just feels like ill be here forever. feels like ive been here forever and i got here last night!! all i can think about is home.. and i know its weird. this is my DREAM right?? isnt it?
7 weeks just seems like forever now that i am here... 3 weeks seems like forever.
i love it here and i love the people but all i want in my mom. it kind of scares the crap out of me the idea of me being here ... all the way over here... bwa
anways we had dinner which was a stew type thing... white rice and green beans. yay no brown beans for becca!!
i met jesse hawkes from RAP-SIDA as well and he is comtemplatnig my work with him.
i went to bed and i woke up at about 1am.. thinking it was 6am. ha.
it was soo loud there! there was a celebration going on in the streets or something for HOURS. for hours people chanted... and danced and drummed. it was beautiful and amazing.. and scary as heck.
i called me mom because i knew it was only about 5pm her time and i missed her soo much. i just dont know how i can do this.. i dont know why i am so downcast. im here right... finally? is this SO different then i expected? yah i guess so... maybe its my malaria pills... maybe its culture shock... maybe im not ready for this. blah!!! my heart hurts. crap my eyes are tearing up and im in public.. stop stop stop.
anyways. woke up this morning and took a sponge bath. yes that is what i will do. its not really a bath. its just a tiny little thing of medium sized water that we can barley stand in... a sponge and a cup to pour the water over your head. wow i even would appreciate a normal shower. i dont think ill be doing much complaining once im home. im sooooo blessed. i now this even more now then when i was in mexico. conditions here are so much worse.
im lucky... because i can leave. these people live here. and only a small amount of them will ever leave this country :(
anyways.. got ready and eat breakfast. which everyday shall be some bread and some peanut butter... and a banana. actually on sundays that is what i have for every meal of the day... because they dont cook at the house on sundays. so today. bread and peanutbutter for me...
oh by the way. fresh fresh banana's are soo much better!!
then elisa picked up linda and i for church... um finally got to see the city in the day light! its so beautiful.. in all its... hmm.. i dont even know the word.
church was soo awesome. God was there in such a rich way. there was about...500 people maybe. and i was the only white one!! hahahahaha. everyone danced during worship.. at least a little. and of course i know not a single word. it was just a HUGE group of peopel passionate for God! then i met this girl anna who came and sat next to me and translated the sermon for me. it was all about Gods promises and how he will fufill them... no matter what.
we took the buss back to remera after the sermon. weirdest thing... this guy made me hold his hand and he kept telling me he loved me. everyone said to just say it back. but i didnt. i was so confused... and kinda scared actually.
anyways. made it back and then sat aroudn for hours. which just kinda made the depression and lonelyness sink back in. i called abbey... forgetting it was like 2am for her. she didnt pick up.
finally finally finally around 2:30 the woman i am working with at the preschool came over. apparently she didnt even know until yesterday that i was coming... haha thanks for telling her glenn.
anyways. we talked. i have my kids from 8-12. no clue what to do with them for 4 hours.. how to teach them. no idea. sigh. just kinda made me cry again because i feel so helpless... and just.. useless. ugh. might be going to another school after 12 tomorrow to do some other work. but i have no idea what to do. sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh. Lord help me.
anyways. karen and i walked downtown to exchange my money for franks... found out that i have misplaced 200 dollars of my spending money. awesome right? now i have like 25 bucks for spending for the next... 7 weeks. besides transportation food and housing. i have all that covered.
now im sitting in the cafe.
feeling kinda... hopeless. i should be sooo much happier to be here right? but all i can think about is home. but then all i can think about is disapointing people... my church. everyone that supported me with money... my friends. myself. God.
ugh. anyways i should go....
ill get over it as soon as my work starts i am sure.
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